Don't be Scared Little Alchemist
by CrazyRandomGirl
Summary: It was unheard of, but anything can happen in this crazy, messed up world. He thinks she's amazing, she think's he's an evil bloodsucking creature of the night... well then. This should be interesting. AdrianXSydney better than the summary...
1. The Attack

**Don't be Scared Little Alchemist**

Okay, so this is my first attempt at Vampire Academy fan-fiction as I only recently finished the books. To say the least I wasn't happy with where Adrian was left, but I guess it just leaves him on a bit of a cliff hanger until Bloodlines. Speaking of him, this whole story's from his point of view! Anyway... let's start this.

Disclaimer: I wish I had the genius mind to come up with Vampire Academy, but sadly I'm not that clever. All the characters and such are from the creative mind of the amazing Richelle Mead... well except for Gareth Winters who I invented on the spot just for the sake of giving Adrian a second guardian!

Chapter 1

Few things worried me or scared me, but it's only natural to be slightly wary when a whole truck-load of Strigoi come running straight for you in the middle of an alleyway. Ok- slightly wary might just be the understatement of the century... I was shitting it.

Why was I there, you might ask. Well firstly, I wasn't alone. Eddie Castile- one of the guardians who was assigned to watch out for me if ever I got off my ass and actually bothered to leave court- was with me the whole time. We were just innocently walking back from a bar when a black truck pulled up next to us (I was being serious when I said a 'truck-load') and five Strigoi jumped out without warning. Always the hero, Eddie ordered me to run almost the second he caught sight of them and let me tell you, I wasted no time in obeying his command!

I bolted into the pitch black alleyway as fast as my slightly drunken body would allow me to go, hoping to hide in the cover of the darkness. Of course, I'd stupidly forgotton one vital thing: to a Strigoi, even the darkest of places seemed to be as bright as the middle of a summers day. After only a short time of running I reached a dead end. I was trapped.

For just one dhampir, five Strigoi was way too much to handle, not even the best of the best could manage it. Even Eddie- who was pretty darn skilled I had to admit- was struggling. If I actually had a useful power, by the new law of Queen Vasilisa Dragomir, I would have been able to step in and help him, but really, what good was spirit in these situations?

From just one glance behind me, I could see my companion fighting with all he had. He'd managed to stake one of his apponents and he was currently locked in battle with another three, but the one that was left managed to slip right past him... and he was heading straight for me. Great.

"Eddie" I called, my voice coming out smaller and more nervous than I'd intended due to my ever increasing fear. "Um... help." Removing his stake from the heart of the second Strigoi he'd staked that evening, he turned to face me. He began to run towards me but one of the Strigoi he was currently fighting had a firm grip on him. He flailed around trying to free his arm while also trying to stake the Strigoi- being a guardian looked like a pretty tough job! With every ounce of strength he could muster, he struck out at the Strigoi holding onto him, staking him right in the heart with a professional precision that few were capable of. Ignoring the other one attacking him (for now at least) Eddie lunged for the one going for me.

"Hang in there Adrian!" he called, attempting to reassure me while he stopped my attacker in her tracks. As though it was something he did on a daily basis (which it actually may well have been) he powerfully spun her around to face him and staked her before she had time to respond. Soon after, he quickly finished off the last one.

I came out from where I'd been cowering behind some old trash bags and breathed a huge sigh of relief. That'd been way too close.

"Thanks man" I said to Eddie, clearly showing nothing but gratitude all over my face.

"Hey, it's my job" he chuckled in reply, "it's what I do." Before our conversation could go any further my other guardian, Gareth Winters, rounded the corner into the alleyway.

"And where exactly were _you_ throughout this whole ordeal?" questioned Eddie, his tone angry.

"I didn't realise you guys had even left the bar" he replied, looking concerned when he realised that something big had just happened and he hadn't been there. "What's going on?"

"It doesn't matter" Eddie told him, still sounding slightly bitter. "It's all over now. It was only like... the biggest Strigoi attack I've ever faced while I've been Adrian's guardian and I had to fight them alone!" I could see that Eddie wasn't about to drop this any time soon and I was still pretty shaken up from what had just happened. Staying in this alleyway wasn't helping at all.

"Look, guys" I said, "can we work all this out back at home? I don't feel too great right now." Of course, they couldn't argue with me. As my gaurdians' it was their duty to put me first and getting me away from the place where I very nearly died didn't seem like too much of a crazy idea.

"Sure" nodded Eddie and we turned to leave. However, before we'd even taken a step, another car pulled over behind the one the Strigoi had come in. This car was red and far nicer, not that I was a car geek, but it just looked better, probably more expensive too. We all froze, curious of who it might be, if it might be another load of Strigoi. We all let our guards down when we saw who stepped out.

She was human, but probably slim enough to be a Moroi, with shoulder length blonde hair and dark, mysterious eyes. She was carrying a vile containing some kind of liquid substance and in the low light of a nearby street lamp, I could just about see a faint golden tattoo on her cheek- she was an Alchemist. The crazy thing was that I recognised her.

"Hey" I said as she approached us, "I know you! You're that Alchemist who's in cahoots with Hathaway." Even after all this time, just saying the last name of the girl who shattered my heart into a million pieces felt like being punched in the chest... or shot... or stabbed. I suppose I'd forgiven Rose for cheating on me, I mean she really loved Belikov and who was I to stop her being with the person she loved? If I'd stopped her it would've just been plain selfish. I had to let her go because I loved her. I still do.

"Shelly isn't it?" I questioned the Alchemist before me. She scoffed and looked at me like I was some kind of idiot.

"Sydney" she corrected, rolling her eyes at me, "and for your information I'm not 'in cahoots' with anyone. I haven't seen Rose in over a year, not since she just left me in that hotel to be questioned..." She stared off into space as though she was reliving what had happened. It appeared I wasn't the only one with a reason to be mad at Rose.

"But that's irrelevant" she continued, "now move aside so I can clean up this mess you made." She seemed to be speaking directly to me. Did she not know that a Moroi like myself was incapable of doing such things to something as powerful as a Stigoi? Probably not. After all, it was only her job to clean up the bodies.

"Hey, don't act like this was me" I chuckled, raising my arms in surrender, "I was the victim in this whole ordeal. These Strigoi came straight for me and Eddie here was the one who took care of them."

"I don't care who did it" Sydney retorted, "I just need to clear up the bodies before anyone sees! Can you imagine how much explaining I'd have to do if anyone found out?" I simply shrugged in response which made the Alchemist roll her chocolate brown eyes once again. I could've sworn I heard her mutter 'evil creatures of the night' under her breath before attempting to push past me.

I should have just let her past, I really should have, but she just seemed like the sort of person that'd be really, _really_ fun to tease.

"Woah, chill out little Alchemist" I chuckled, "no ones around, what's the hurry?" As she took a step back from me I could already see her frustration, her red ringed aura confirmed it.

"The hurry is that I want to clear up, get home and get away from you as fast as possible!" she replied, her anger seeping into her voice, "it might be ok for you with your un-holy schedule to be up at this time of night but in case you didn't notice- I'm human. I'm _tired_." Now that she mentioned it, I could see purple bags under her eyes and her hair looked very messy. She'd probably been dragged out of bed specifically for this.

"So I guess you don't want to stay and chat then?" I asked her, flashing her one of my most charming smiles. I saw her anger ebb away a little as she caught sight of it, but unlike so many other girls, she wasn't dazzled or immediately love struck or anything. Not that I wanted her to be. She was an Alchemist- Moroi and Alchemist's just didn't get together, not even just for flings. That said, I couldn't deny that she was very pretty, even if she'd just gotten up.

"Not particularly" she told me, before finally managing to get past. I watched in amazement as she poured the substance in her vile onto the five Strigoi bodies. They fizzed a little and then vanished into smoke, leaving only a few ashes behind.

"Wow" I said, genuinely amazed, "now _that_ was cool." For the first time since she got here, she actually gave me a small, brief smile.

"Not really" she replied with a shrug before hurriedly walking back over to her car, desperate to get home or wherever she may be staying nearby. From what I'd heard about her, she didn't live here in Pennsylvania.

"See you around" I called after her. She turned to face me once again and gave me yet another small smile.

"Probably not" she said with a hint of what may even have been a giggle, "but, maybe."

"Hopefully" I teased, grinning and raising my eyebrows suggestively. I just couldn't help myself, I had to flirt, even if it was just a little bit. She was female, she was attractive and that was just how I was.

"Whatever. Goodbye... uh... Andrew is it?" she questioned, mimicking what I had said earlier when I'd forgotten her name.

"Adrian" I replied with a laugh, showing another of my best smiles. She gave a slight wave and shut the car door before driving away. I wasn't sure why, but for a while I just stared at the spot where her car had been before Gareth brought me back to earth.

"You ready to leave?" he asked me. I nodded in response and my guardians and I continued our walk back to my house. What an evening it had turned out to be...

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><p>Well that was actually pretty fun to write! I should be updating soon.<p>

xx


	2. The Dream

**Don't be Scared Little Alchemist**

Chapter 2

As per usual, the drinks I had at the bar just weren't enough to shut out the constant madness that came with spirit, so I continued to drink from the moment I got in the door. Although I could easily afford far better, my house was average sized: two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen, a living room and a study. Nothing special, but I really didn't see the point in throwing away cash on things like that. I'd much rather spend it on clothes and booze and maybe on girls... if I ever found someone worth it. Well, I had found someone worth it- in fact I'd given her ridiculous amounts of money and set up an entire bank account for her just so that she could travel to Russia to find the man that she would eventually leave me for...

Rose was the main reason I had to get up and leave court. Even though she and Lissa were away at collage more often than not they still came back. Even though I loved seeing Lissa, Rose was always there, a constant reminder that I could never have her. Not only that, but even when they were away one big problem remained- and I mean a 6ft 5, girlfriend stealing Russian problem who goes by the name of Dimitri Belikov. He'd become the guardian of Christian Ozera- Lissa's dorky, snarky boyfriend- and he was always there at court... every. Single. Day.

He tried to be all nice and friendly with me, never once bringing up that he just so happened to be the guy that the love of my life cheated on me with. He never seemed to get the hint that I just wanted him to leave me alone so I could try and forget my past love life and move on. One day, I just got sick of it. I felt like being at court was keeping me trapped in a past life that I needed to get out of and put behind me... so without warning I just got up and left.

I didn't go to far though, maybe fifty miles south of the court. It was more so I could keep in touch with my friends than to be close to my old home. Ever since I left, Gareth, Eddie and I had lived together in this house. Over the year we'd been out here, they'd become more than just my guardians, they were like brothers to me. Going out and having them looking out for me just felt like a night out with your mates would, it wasn't half as weird as I'd expected it to be before I was out in the big wide world.

After coming home from my rather confusing evening (or very early morning on a human schedule) which started off just chilling out at at twenty four hour bar and quickly moved on to almost dying and running into some whack-job Alchemist chick that just so happened to know Rose, I was beyond tired. It was insane. After two more drinks (and one left on my bedside table for good luck) I was off to sleep, far earlier than I normally would be. My last thoughts oddly enough weren't about the near fatal Strigoi attack, but about Sydney and her magical Strigoi-body-dissolving chemicals.

Before sleep could fully consume me I felt a weird yet familiar sensation throughout my body, like my soul was being pulled away from my physical being. The only difference was- I usually controlled it by choice. I was entering a spirit dream. Never before, in all my 23 years had I slipped into someones dreams by accident. I hadn't even known it was possible until now and it was especially strange since I'd had so much to drink that night that my spirit powers should surely have been shut off. Apparently not.

Every part of my mind was telling me that I was surely in Rose's head. She was on my mind so much- practically 24/7- that it was quite possible that I'd entered her dreams subconsciously. I used to do it so much, especially when we were separated, that It'd practically become natural. Confirming my theory was the fact that we were in a city in Siberia... of _course _she'd dream about Siberia.

I scanned the area for the dreamer, almost dreading seeing the face of my former love. It'd be far too painful, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to cope with it. As was only natural in spirit dreams, nobody else was around, just me and the dreamer of this dream who supposedly was playing 'hard to find' because I appeared to be alone. And that's when I saw her.

Sitting out on a balcony a little way above the street was the last person I'd expected to see. I waved at her to try and get her attention.

"Well, well, well" I began, "if it isn't my favourite little Alchemist." Sydney peered down at me and flinched a little when she recognised me. I doubted she new anything about spirit, few people did. As far as she was probably concerned, her peaceful little dream had just turned into a nightmare when an 'un-holy bloodsucker' such as myself showed up uninvited. Alchemists may work along side vampires, but it didn't mean they liked us- at all. In fact, I'm pretty sure they hated us and by default also hated their jobs.

"May I join you?" I asked her politely, still trying to figure out how and why I'd just been randomly sucked into her dream. When I didn't get a response from her I simply teleported myself up there. That was an advantage of being a dreamwalker- I controlled the dream and I could do whatever the hell I wanted in it.

Sydney visibly jumped when I appeared beside her, backing herself as far away from me as she could.

"Relax" I assured her in the most calming voice I could manage, "I won't hurt you." It was crazy how she was acting so different now to how she'd acted in the alleyway earlier that night. I suppose since she thought this was just a normal dream, there was no need for her to try and hide her fear. There was no need for her usual attitude. She was scared, I could see it all over her face. It hit me then, just how horrible it must be for her to have to work with 'creatures' that she was scared to death of every day of her life.

"Oh gosh, I'm having a nightmare..." she mumbled to herself, staring down at her shoes. "Wake up, wake up, wake up..." She closed her eyes and continued trying to end the dream. Of course, I was in control here and she wasn't going to wake up unless I let her... or unless someone outside of the dream purposely woke her up. I watched her in pity as she shifted uncomfortably, wary about me being here. The kind thing to do would be to leave right at that moment, but in the long run surely it would be better for me to help her overcome her fear of vampires (the good kind at least) so she'd find her job easier.

"Sydney, you need to relax" I told her, grabbing her forearms in an attempt to get her to look at me. She tried to yank them away, but it was no use. Moroi may not be strong, but we're stronger than a human any day. When she realised she wasn't going anywhere she finally gave up and stood perfectly still. I removed one of my hands from her arm and used it to tilt her chin up so she was gazing up at me.

"Relax" I repeated looking into her deep, dark eyes. "Where's the Sydney I saw in the alleyway earlier?".

She shrugged in response before saying "_that_ Sydney only exists in the outside world, when she needs to. _This_ Sydney can't be bothered with pretending. I _hate_ vampires. End of story." Even though her fear was still easy to see, she was regaining some of her attitude as she calmed down a little.

"I get that you hate Strigoi" I replied, "I'm terrified of them too, you know? But theres no reason to be scared of Moroi. We're just like you, we just drink blood." For the first time in the dream, Sydney rolled her eyes at me, a sign that she was regaining the confidence I had seen in her before.

"And that" she began, "is exactly _why_ I don't like you. I mean, it's disgusting! Drinking human blood... I'm human... it just freaks me out." I'll admit, the way she viewed Moroi made my eyes widen a little, but I showed no further signs of disagreement. The plan was to warm her up to our kind, not make her think I was an argumentative man-bitch or something.

"You don't have to worry about that" I explained, realising as I did that my hand was still on her arm. I quickly dropped it to my side, trusting her to stay put and hear me out. "It'd take a lot of disrespect for someone to drink their blood against their will. That's one of the things that separates us from Strigoi, you see. They don't care who's blood they drink and their quite happy to kill them in the process, but we'd never drink from someone without their permission and we wouldn't dream of killing them... unless of course we wanted to become Strigoi- which for the record, I don't."

"I know that" she replied, nodding her head slightly in agreement. "I just don't like it is all. It seems wrong to me."

At this point, it seemed nothing was going to change the girl's mind. I gave up, I was done playing 'nice-guy' for now.

"Whatever" I shurgged, "we all have our own opinions I guess." She nodded and then shrugged too, showing she agreed with me. I was about to go and leave her in peace when I accidently met her eyes. I felt a strange feeling wash over me, like I shouldn't be leaving. I couldn't explain it.

"Sydney" I said, just before I left her to her dream, "just because you're scared of 'vampire kind'... it doesn't mean you have to be scared of me. Or my friends for that matter. You weren't scared of Rose were you?" I flinched a bit as I spoke her name. I rarely said it aloud these days.

"A little I suppose" she admitted, "dhampirs aren't quite the same though are they? At least they're half human... although it doesn't make them any less evil. But Rose... I thought we were friends. Guess not." I could tell she was referring to how Rose had abandoned her, similar to what she'd done to me. Well, at least me and the Alchemist had one thing in common.

"**_Adrian_**!"- It was Eddie. I felt myself being sucked out of the dream and back to reality, back into my own head- which _really_ hurt right now!

"Ow!" I complained, opening my eyes to see my favourite guardian leaning over me. "Hangover..."

"I'm not surprised" chuckled Eddie, "you had what... seven drinks last night?"

"Eight" I corrected him, closing my eyes once again to try and shut off the pain- no such luck. "Why'd you wake me up?"

"You were talking in your sleep" he explained with a knowing grin, "it was entertaining but I thought I should stop it. You know, in case it was a spirit dream and you were too darn drunk to get out of it. You know how you get when you use too much spirit..." Oh did I know...

"The thing is, it _was_ a spirit dream" I replied, "but it shouldn't have happened. The whole point of the drinking is to stop spirit. I've never been able to use it when I've had that much alcohol before, especially not by accident."

"You were in Sydney's dream by accident?" Eddie questioned, raising an eyebrow in confusion. How did he know it'd been Sydney?

"Wait how did you-"

"Dude, you said her name like a hundred times" Eddie explained, cutting me off. "Does someone have a little crush of the pretty Alchemist girl?"

"No!" I scoffed. What a ridiculous idea. Me- a highly respected member of the royal Moroi society and an Alchemist? Yeah right.

"Whatever you say..." he teased in a sing song voice.

"Watch it Eddison!" I threatened, finally dragging myself out of bed. Eddie just laughed and followed along behind me. The scary thing was... he may not have been too far off. I wouldn't call it a crush, but Sydney had been the last thing on my mind before I went to sleep and there was something about her that made me want to stay with her whenever I saw her... maybe it was just a desire to prove that I wasn't an evil creature of the night. Yeah. That has to be it.

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><p>Both positive and negative feedback is much appreciated :D<p>

xx


	3. The Bet

**Don't be Scared Little Alchemist**

Chapter 3

"Dude! Enough with the alcohol already!" scolded Gareth, shooting daggers in my direction. After getting over the monster hangover I'd woken up with, I was already beginning to feel the craziness of spirt creeping up on me. It was such an awful feeling that it was difficult to describe. It was like there was someone invading my mind and messing with stuff, trying to control me. I could almost see it seeping into my head, wrapping everything inside it in a think layer of 'crazy dust' that I couldn't sweep away without being intoxicated. Oh wow... I already sounded insane. I needed a cigarette- now!

"Sorry..." I apologized, lowering my head slightly and screwing the lid back onto the bottle of liquor I'd been about to secretly add to my coffee. My guardians hated me drinking all the time, they knew how bad it was for me and they tried to stop me doing it too much. Last night had been an exception, I'd gone particularly insane, talking in poetry and rhymes like some kind of kids storybook character. I scared myself when I got like that- it made me wonder how much time I had left before they shipped me off to an asylum and locked me up forever like the did with Avery Lazar- a spirit user who'd become obsessed with bonding herself to people and lost control of her powers. As much as I hated to admit it, things had gotten far worse since I'd broken up with Rose, even worse when she and Lissa went off to collage and worse still after I left the Royal Court. I could see that Eddie and Gareth were trying their best to help me, but it didn't always work. There was only so much a dhampir could understand about magic after all, since they couldn't wield it.

The long and short story was- I missed Lissa. We'd been in this together, we'd muddled through all the madness and we'd helped each other improve our skills. In a way it felt as though I'd lost a limb, she was like a little sister to me and I hadn't seen her in over a year. I had no-one to go to with my many spirit-related issues and I had no one to help me figure out how and why I randomly ended up in Sydney's dream last night... I guess I'd have to figure that one out alone.

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><p>And so it began, for what seemed like no reason what so ever. It appeared all hell had suddenly broken loose as the Strigoi attacks that used to happen to us so rarely increased to two or three per week. If I didn't already know what selfish creatures they were and how they couldn't care less about one another, I would have thought they were getting revenge for what Eddie did to those guys the other night. I couldn't deny it- my guardians were good, really good. They made taking down a super strong, super speedy Strigoi look as easy as making a cup of tea (which to be fair is actually a pretty hard task since I still haven't quite figured out how to work the kettle).<p>

Of course, with a Strigoi attack, comes the issue of what to do with the bodies which can only be solved by- you guessed it- an Alchemist. Or more precisely, the particular Alchemist that appeared to be assigned to this area at the moment- Sydney Sage.

We hadn't talked properly since the night I slipped into her dream, at most we would exchange a brief wave of acknowledgement. She wasn't being so outright rude as she used to be, but she wasn't being nice either. She was pretty much blanking me, probably embarrassed that she'd had such a vivid dream about me in which I was actually nice to her. I wondered what she'd think if I ever told her I'd actually been there...

"Hey" I called out to her one night as she was about to leave. It'd been a mild Strigoi encounter, not much of a fight and only one to take down. Sydney turned to me with a look of annoyance on her features. It was- once again- extremely late for a human. "Little Alchemist."

"Don't call me that" she threatened, an astonishing sense of authority in her voice for someone who thought I'd come and drain her blood while she was sleeping.

"Temper" I mock-scolded her, wagging my finger in her direction, "you should be ashamed Miss Sage." I'd found out her surname a few night's ago when she'd gotten a phone call from her superiors while she was cleaning up after my guardians' latest battle. With my super-sensitive Moroi hearing, I could hear the other end of the conversation too.

"What do you want Adrian?" she asked hastily, "make it quick." I was seriously considering telling her all about my powers and how I'd ended up in her head the other night due to a crazy, out of control spirit overdose... which shouldn't have actually happened when I'd been completely drunk. However, I decided against it. It would freak her out, and besides, if she didn't know about my powers I figured I could have a bit of fun with this.

"I bet you, you'll dream about me tonight" I told her with a wink. I could feel Eddie and Gareth's disapproving eyes on the back of my head, realising what I was doing. They really hated it when I overused spirit, it made me a rambling, metal psycopath and as you can imagine- not a very fun person to protect and live with.

"I don't have time for this" she replied, getting into her car. "And for the record- I have far better things to dream about thank you very much." She was really on the defensive tonight wasn't she?

"I'm serious" I told her, jogging over to her little red vehicle and leaning up against her half open window. "I bet you dream about me tonight and if you do..." I paused for a while in thought, wondering what I could make someone I barley knew do for me. The last thing I wanted was the girl's money... how much did Alchemist's make anyway? Was it an unpaid job? Either way- the great nephew of the late Queen Tatiana Ivashkov was bound to be far richer than anyone who cleaned up Strigoi bodies for a living. Cash wasn't an issue here.

It was then that it hit me, crazy as the idea might seem. It'd been a long time since I'd had any kind of involvement with anyone female- I hadn't been seeing anyone since Rose and that includes the one night stands I used to have an un-countable amount of. She really hurt me that badly.

"If you do" I repeated to the bored looking girl in front of me, "I want you to go on a date with me. Just one, harmless date. Just for fun." I saw her expression of boredom change to one of terror and shock. Of course, when I said the word 'date' to an Alchemist, I was thinking something along the lines of go shopping and then go out for dinner. Nothing insanely romantic of course, Moroi and human couples were a serious taboo. "Just a day out" I reassured her, "so I can get to know the wonderful young lady who comes and cleans up after our fights with only a moderate amount of complaining." She rolled her eyes at my last statement before appearing to consider the bet.

"And because I won't dream about you" she stated, blissfully unaware that she didn't really have a choice, "you pay me $2000... okay?" The thing she clearly didn't understand- besides the fact that the chances of her winning the bet were 0 to 100- was that I actually would have given her the money. It was clear that by demanding something she thought I wouldn't give her, she thought I'd have no choice but to call the whole thing off. Think again...

"Cool" I agreed with a quick shrug of my shoulders. Sydney turned the keys in her ignition and prepared to drive away.

"Whatever you say Ivashkov" she said to me lazily.

"See you in your dreams little Alchemist" I replied with a knowing grin. Before I could say anything else, she had already driven away in to the pitch black blanket of darkness.

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><p>"I still think it's a bad idea" Eddie told me as he and I sat on my bed when we got home. "She's human! What if you fall for her?" I scoffed at my guardian's stupidity.<p>

"I won't 'fall for her'" I assured him with a chuckle, "it's just one date, just to give me something to do... actually it's mainly to piss her off. Besides, I never seem to meet up with anyone nowadays." I knew Eddie couldn't argue with that. Ever since leaving court I lived a pretty isolated existence and I rarely saw anyone besides Eddie, Gareth and occasionally Mia Rinaldi- Eddie's girlfriend. It may have been his duty to protect me, but he couldn't deny me my freedom to actually make contact with the outside world.

"That'd better be it dude" he warned me, uncharacteristically harsh, "you can't even begin to imagine the uproar it'll cause if you guys end up an item."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah" I responded, quickly brushing off his anger, "now can you leave me to it? I have a dream to invade." Eddie merely nodded and wished me good luck before leaving me alone with spirit. It often felt like it was more than just a power, like it was a person in the room with me holding a gun or some other kind of brutal, deadly weapon, just waiting for the right moment to strike. I hated being left alone with it when I was sober, but in times like these I just had to grin and bear it.

It was 4am so she would either be asleep or would be soon. Already feeling the power surging through me, I closed my eyes and un-attached my mind from my body, searching through the vast golden mist for Sydney. Once I had found her, I pushed my mind into her head, entering her dreams quickly and easily. This time, she was in a garden I recognised from a dream I had had with Rose- it was Sonya Karp's.

"Told you so" I taunted, walking up behind the blonde. She quite literally jumped out of her skin when she heard me... well not actually _literally_ because that'd just be weird and disturbing.

"Great" she said, recovering from her scare, "now I suppose I lose the bet." She didn't look happy about it, but she looked less angry/ freaked out/ disgusted than I'd imagined she would.

"Indeed" I chuckled, "now as for the date... say I pick you up today at 8pm?"

"I'd rather you didn't"

"Tough luck Little Alchemist, you lost"

"For the last time Adrian don't-"

"I know, I know" I barged in, cutting her off, "but I say it with affection." I raised my eyebrows at her in a flirty way, earning me the trademark Sydney Sage 'oh gosh your such an idiot' eye roll. "Besides" I continued, "calling you Sydney seems a little too formal for such great friends like us." I giggled at her annoyance at the thought of us ever possibly being friends.

"Great friends?" she questioned in disbelief. "No way."

I pouted at her, before realising how much strain I was beginning to feel from the spirit use. I had to get out of her mind.

"Well, I best be off" I said, "any chance you'll tell me where to come and pick you up or shall I just forget about it assuming you'd give me a fake address?" I actually managed to get a smile out of her with that and she began to consider her next action.

"How about we meet up" she suggested, obviously not wanting to give away where she lived to a 'deadly monster'.

"At the park near my house?" I suggested to which she nodded in agreement. "Cool. See you then Syd- 8pm sharp." I glanced at her in a jokey sort of warning to reinforce my point.

Just as I was vanishing from her dream, I could swear I saw her smile to herself at the nickname I'd just casually given to her.

* * *

><p>Hmm... not as happy with this one as the first 2 chapters...<p>

xx


	4. The Date

**Don't be Scared Little Alchemist**

Chapter 4

I stood in front of the mirror, desperately trying to style my hair into the deliberate messy look that I managed to pull off flawlessly. She wasn't going to turn up. I knew it. Nobody actually shows up for a date they planned in a dream! I should have told her that I was a dreamwalker, then she would have come... well probably anyway. I wasn't exactly her favourite person in the world, but that was besides the point. She wasn't going to come, I'd look like some sad, lonely guy who got stood up and... why am I worrying about this so much? It's Sydney- a human, an Alchemist and to be quite frank an outright bitch when she wanted to be.

"Ready?" came a voice from the doorway. I was Gareth. He smirked at me as he took in what I was wearing- a dress shirt casually thrown on with black jeans and a loose tie. Not too dressy, but not casual either. "Dressing to impress?" he continued, running a hand through his annoyingly perfect blonde hair. He was such a ladies man, not too unlike I used to be actually.

"No!" I responded a little too quickly, "in fact I don't even think she's coming." I really hoped my guardian didn't see my face fall at the thought.

"She is, don't worry" he assured me, "Eddie just got a call from her, she's on her way to the park as we speak." I felt relief wash over me and calm me down instantly.

"Wait" I said, "How did she have our number?" Actually, how did she know a lot of stuff she knew. How did she always know where there'd been a Strigoi fight? How did she know where the park was? How did she know to actually show up for our date when she thought she'd just dreamed it... or maybe she knew more than I gave her credit for. Maybe she already knew I could enter peoples dreams... but then why would she agree to a bet she could never win?

"Alchemists" sighed Gareth, "they have their ways."

"They do indeed" I replied with a chuckle as we left the room. All three of us stepped out into the chilly night air and headed for the park where I would meet with Sydney. To give us a little more privacy and put Sydney more at ease, Eddie and Gareth had agreed to stay hidden and watch me from afar, just this once. They weren't really keen on the idea for obvious safety reasons but I knew their level of skill and trusted them to spring into action immediately if anything went wrong.

We arrived at the park at ten minutes past eight... fashionably late I suppose. I scanned the area for any signs of a bratty little Alchemist and eventually my eyes landed on something, or more appropriately _someone_. She was- to put it bluntly- gorgeous. Her blonde hair was set in pretty loose curls which framed her face nicely and she'd even put on make-up for the occasion. She wore a long, grey coat but it was undone revealing a short, deep purple dress... very sexy I had to admit. In case you thought I was just talking about some random girl- it was Sydney.

"Sydney" I greeted as I approached her, my guardians keeping behind. She turned to me, her deep brown eyes gazing up into my green ones. I couldn't help but feel some kind of connection... well that couldn't be good.

"Adrian" she nodded in reply, managing- with obvious difficulty- to offer me a smile. I could sense her uneasiness and took her hand in a comforting fashion. She instantly snatched her hand back and I raised my arms up in surrender.

"Hey" I chuckled, "remember- I'm not gonna hurt you. I promise you, it'll be just like hanging out with a human."

"Unlikely" she replied icily. She took a while to get herself together after the shock of physical contact with a 'moster' before finally managing to put her usual 'I don't care' bravado back up.

"You okay?" I asked her, genuinely concerned. In all honesty, I didn't want to force her to go on a date with me if she was really _that _uncomfortable. It'd just be cruel.

"Yes and no" she replied, shrugging her shoulders in confusion. I attempted to take her hand once again, but this time she didn't let go and I gave it a comforting squeeze before bringing her face up to look at me.

"How so?" I asked her, still pretty unsure how it was even possible to have two opposite answers to the same question. She shrugged once again.

"Well" she began, her unease still showing, "I mean, I don't like any kind of vampire- dhampirs included- don't get me wrong but... I dunno it's weird. At first with Rose- we were just so close I practically forgot what she was and then she left me and I guess I just lost the trust I was starting to gain for your kind. But, I know your not lying when you say you won't hurt me... at least I hope your not... I'm just confused." I was silent for a while, trying to make sense of what she'd just said. Honestly, I still couldn't figure it out, but I could tell she was having some serious conflicting emotions and for that I felt sorry for her.

"I'm not lying Sydney" I chuckled, "if I wanted your blood don't you think I would've just taken it by now?" I saw her tense a little at the thought.

"Right" she agreed, "I suppose you would have... should we actually go somewhere now."

"Indeed" I replied, letting go of her hand and offering her my arm to take. Unsurprisingly she refused.

"No way Ivashkov" she retorted, shifting away from me a little to keep her distance.

"Can't blame a guy for trying" I said casually before leading her away to the restaurants I'd booked up. It was the best restaurant in town, but nothing that I couldn't afford of course. Being rich had it's advantages.

"Well, this looks... expensive" stated Sydney looking around as we walked in the door. It was true, it looked like the sort of place celebrities would go to with it's deep red walls, golden pillars, chandeliers and silk clothed tables with little candles in the middle.

"It's... a little pricey" I agreed which to my shock actually made her laugh a little. "Here, let me take your coat." If there's one thing I was on dates (first ones at least)- it was a gentleman. The thing was, I very rarely _had_ actual dates. Usually I'd just pick up some randomer at a bar, sleep with her and then never see her again... well that's what the pre-Rose Hathaway Adrian would do anyway. The new and hopefully improved version hadn't done that in ages and didn't plan on doing it again, not now I knew what a real relationship could be like.

Sydney allowed me to take her coat off of her shoulders, fully revealing the purple dress I'd noticed earlier... _much _sexier in the light. She turned to face me and to my horror, noticed me staring. She rolled her eyes and flashed a little smile in my direction... she was so pretty when she smiled, prettier than usual I mean. I knew that if my guardians had any idea what I was thinking, they'd probably abandon their duties and beat the crap out of me, they'd made it quite clear that they didn't want me falling for a human. Not that I was of course, it's only natural to appreciate the general hotness of a girl like that. Either way, I couldn't see Eddie or Gareth at the moment, in fact I wouldn't be too shocked if they were just looking through the windows and hadn't even come inside. At least that would keep our conversations private.

Once we'd been seated, it was awkward and silent for a long time, unspoken words hanging in the air all around us. In the silence, I could hear spirit calling to me, begging me to use it and let it out of it's cage. I wanted a drink- no I _needed _one, but I'd promised myself I wouldn't tonight. Sydney didn't need more reasons to be scared of me and I just got weird when I was drunk. Then again, I got even weirder when I let spirit get a hold of me.

Our main course had not long arrived when Sydney spoke up, starting the first real conversation of the evening.

"I'm really sorry" she mumbled, staring down at her plate the entire time. I was confused, what had she actually done? Well- aside from having a bit of an attitude of course.

"What for?" I asked her, egar to hear her answer. She continued to stare downwards for a while before finally replying.

"For everything" she began, "the way I treat you in general. It's really prejudice I know..."

"It's not your fault" I assured her, "I guess some people just find vampires scary."

"But it isn't fair" she insisted, "I mean, look at everything you've done to try and get me to accept you and I still throw it back in your face."

"Don't worry about it" I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood a little. "It's pretty entertaining actually." She attempted a smile, but her guilt made it vanish almost instantly.

"But it isn't right. _You_ were right- about what you said before. Just because I'm scared of vampire kind it doesn't mean I have to be scared of you." Only seconds after the words had left her mouth, it became evident that she'd said something she shouldn't have. She looked at me in fear and shock- she'd just quoted me from a dream, a dream she wasn't supposed to know was a result of spirit. But she _did _know.

"You knew this entire time..." I mumbled, trailing off. "You know I'm a dreamwalker and you _knew_ there was no way for you to win the bet... so why did you agree to it?" We sat in silence for a while as I watched her try and think of a way to respond. She'd been caught out- she _wanted _to go on a date with me. She may have been good at hiding it before, but her secret was out. Sydney Sage actually didn't hate me. Who'da thought?

I wasn't sure if I should've been thrilled or horrified by this new revelation, but I was heading more in the direction of thrilled. If my guardians where anywhere nearby right now, the likelyhood was they would ban me from ever seeing her again. But I didn't want that... because in all honesty I kinda wanted a second date... and maybe a third.

"Well..." she began uneasily, "I just... wanted to get to know you. To prove to myself that not all vampires are evil." The way she said it made it sound more like a question than an actual statement. She was lying. I could tell, I was very good at reading people or more precisely their auras. Hers was giving everything away.

"I think" I said with all my usual bad-boy-who-every-girl-is-in-love-with bravado, "that you like me."

"Elaborate"

"I mean as in you wanted to go on a date because you want to date me. Simple."

"And why on earth would I want to do that?" As we continued to argue back and forth, we subconsciously began to lean in closer and closer over the small table.

"I dunno" I replied, "maybe because I'm a super-hot, funny, unbelievable, awesome guy and you can't stay away from me... just a guess"

"As if"

"Oh really, then why did you make the bet?"

"I already told you"

"And if you really know so much about my powers you'll know I also read auras and I _know_ for a _fact_ that you were lying."

"Why does it matter to you?"

"Because"

"That's not an answer"

"You didn't answer my question either"

"Because it's stupid" she retorted, raising her voice a little more. By this point we were right up in each others faces in a heated debate. "Why would I _want_ to spend time with some creature that I'm terrified of?"

Her words stung a little, I hated to admit it. I had nothing left to say, no witty remark and for a while, everything was silent as we cooled ourselves down from the fight, still face to face leaning into the middle of the table. I could feel her breath on my cheek, warm and comforting but ragged- she was clearly stressed. I suppose that all came from being too close to an 'evil demon'. I could hear her heartbeat too, as well as my own. They were freakishly in tune with each other, as if they were meant to be heard like this, with barely any distance between them. It happened like the movies, like it did when Romeo met Juliet, when Edward met Bella... like I imagined it felt when Rose met Dimitri. In that moment, I forgot we were in the middle of some posh, upper-class restaurant with a bunch of people probably still staring at us after our little argument. I forgot that my guardians were watching somewhere... and oh man would they be pissed. But I didn't think about that. All I could see was the girl infront of me, more than pretty- outright beautiful. Green eyes met brown and before I knew it, I was speaking in gentle, hushed tone, contrasting greatly with how we'd been talking when we were fighting.

"Are you scared now?" I whispered, seeing her visibly shiver as my breath hit her face. Getting herself together, at least as much as she could in such a close proximity to me, she shook her head and I moved in closer. Then I kissed her.

It was unbelievable. Literally. To my utmost shock, she made no attempt to shove me off or run out of the restaurant screaming (that would've made me a bit of a social outcast wouldn't you agree?), but she didn't exactly respond with passion. Not that it mattered, because all I could think about were how soft and sweet her lips felt underneath mine and how pretty she was and how good she smelled (she had just the right amount of perfume on, just how I liked it... she'd probably somehow known that too knowing her). I reached a hand up and gently ran a finger along her jawline, pulling her in closer. She responded by- hesitantly as always- placing a hand on the side of my neck, holding me in place. Not that I was going anywhere if I could help it. The phrase 'sparks flew' didn't quite seem to cover it. I opened my eyes for a second and caught a glimpse of her aura, shining so brightly it almost blinded me. I quickly closed my eyes again and got back into the kiss, feeling the chemistry I never thought myself capable of feeling, especially with a human... _especially _with Sydney.

All good things had to come to an end. We broke apart. We stayed leaning over the table, keeping the closeness, savouring it. For the first time since I'd met her, she was genuinely smiling.

"What the hell just happened?" I whispered with a chuckle. She laughed too and shook her head.

"Not a clue" she replied, "but... I liked it." My heart involuntarily skipped a beat at her words, betraying me and everything I'd tried to do. Despite everything I told myself, I liked her. Simple as that.

"Me too" I said, gently guiding her into another kiss, more brief this time but just as sweet.

I hated the thought, but I was doing exactly what my guardians didn't want- I was falling for her.

* * *

><p>xx<p> 


	5. The Visit

**Don't be Scared Little Alchemist**

Chapter 5

Just as I predicted- I had hell to pay the second I stepped through my front door. We'd walked back to the house in an awkward silence after saying goodbye to Sydney, my guardians clearly waiting until we were in private to have this conversation with me.

"What were you _thinking!_" scolded Eddie, looking at me sternly like a condescending parent. I hated that look, it made him look like he thought he was better than me...

"Well" I began, racking my brains for something witty to say to break the tension. To be honest, I couldn't deal with this right now, I hadn't had a single drink or cigarette the entire evening and I was starting to feel too close to my magic for my sanity to handle. "I was thinking 'hey I kind of like this girl. Let's put all the snobbish rules of royal society behind us, forget what's expected of my prestigious bloodline and actually try and make a human/Moroi relationship work'. Is that really so bad?" My guardians exchanged quizzical looks and then turned back to me.

"Quit lying Adrian, we all know you're not that deep" chuckled Gareth, clearly finding his own joke far funnier than I did. I _could _be deep... when I felt like it.

"Harsh" I simply stated, glaring at the blonde.

"The point is" Eddie spoke up, edging away from any possible argument that might begin between me and our other companion, "whatever your reason was, this is a bad idea. This is _exactly_ what I said would happen, exactly what you _promised_ me you wouldn't do."

"So?" I questioned, still not seeing their problem. At the end of the day- why should _they_ care so much about who I dated, even if it was a human?

"So, I think you should stop seeing her" replied Eddie with a shrug, "I'm sorry but it's for the best dude."

"And when exactly did you become my mother?" I retorted, shooting daggers at my best friend. "Actually" I added, "I think even my mother would be okay with this, because she puts my happiness first. Isn't that what you guys promised when you became my guardians? To put me first?" There was no way out of this one, no way to deny what I'd said and no way to twist the vow they'd made. But of course Eddie- being the irritating-yet-lovable smart ass he is- found a way around it.

"But it's not putting you first if we let you go out with a human for- lets face it- a week or so perhaps, destroy your reputation and regret it for the rest of your life" he explained, looking far too proud of himself for how well he'd defended his case. And what did he mean 'a week or so?' Maybe the old Adrian... but not me, not who I was now. Something inside me felt the need for commitment ever since I met Rose, ever since she cheated on me and left me. As much as I hate to sound soft- I'd felt empty ever since. I needed to have someone I knew would stick around and stay with me like I needed oxygen and alcohol.

"Whatever" I shrugged, not really in the mood for this and in desperate need of intoxication. "If I see her again, I see her again. If I don't, I don't. Nothings been arranged, no plans have been made. You guys just stay out of it and quit stressing. I'll be fine ok?" Gareth shrugged and nodded, still looking a little pissed and Eddie gave me an eye roll that reminded me creepily of Sydney. I took that moment as my que to leave the room, taking the hint that the conversation was coming to a close. I'd only managed to get half way up the stairs when there was a knock on the door followed by girlish squeals and Eddie laughing and greeting people. Curious, I retraced my steps back into the living room.

"Hey guys whats going-" I froze the moment I caught sight of who'd arrived, my words caught in my throat. Two girls, one taller and slimmer than the other, one with near-black hair and the other with ice-blonde, one tanned and one pale. One that was my best friend and the other that shattered my heart and I hadn't spoken to in over a year. Lissa Dragomir and Rose Hathaway stood in my doorway. I managed to form my face into a smile as I laid eyes on the Moroi Queen for the first time in what felt like forever, but seeing my former love beside her... well, awkward didn't even begin to cover it. After taking a while to collect myself, I made my way over to the girls where Eddie was already chatting away. Of course, they didn't know Gareth at all, so with a polite greeting to Rose and a gracious bow to Lissa, he left us all to catch up.

"Liss" I greeted with a broad smile, still breathless from shock. I threw my arms around her and she giggled and returned the hug. "How's it going cousin?" Clearly, she wasn't actually my cousin, it was just a way fellow royals greeted each other sometimes.

"Fantastic" she grinned as she pulled away. Despite her mask of happiness, I could tell something was wrong, her aura didn't seem quite right. I made a mental note to ask her later and turned to face the girl beside her, trying not to let my eyes meet hers for fear that they'd give away everything I was feeling. All the anger and hurt that I'd felt all that time ago instantly rose back up within me the moment I saw her, still tinged with that burning love that never seemed to fade... pretty suckish really. As I looked at her- letting my eyes drink in her features and admiring how she was exactly as she was when I'd seen her last- I all but entirely forgot every memory of Sydney from that evening. Everything I'd felt for her on our date- when we kissed and when we held hands walking back from the restaurant- had almost faded from my mind. All I could think about was who was standing before me and how much I'd missed her.

"Little dhampir" I greeted with a nod of acknowledgement, trying my best not to flash her my trademark flirty smile. Given the current circumstances between us, something told me that that wouldn't go down too well.

"Adrian" she replied almost shyly. Since when was Rosemarie Hathaway ever _shy_? My guess was that it was either because of how we'd cut things off between us or that Belikov had helped her bring out emotions that she never seemed to have before or something sickeningly romantic like that. I was sincerely hoping for the former.

"So what brings you girls all the way out here?" asked Eddie, ushering them to come inside.

"What? The entire twenty miles away from court?" giggled Rose in response. Her laugh... how could I have ever forgotten that sound? So pure and innocent... _completely_ unlike the girl whom it belonged to.

"Indeed" replied Eddie as we all took seats in the living area. Rose reached into her bag for something, but then hesitated.

"Okay" she began, looking more nervous than I'd ever seen her. What could honestly be so bad that it made _her_ nervous. Yet another emotion I'd never seen on her before. "Well, you guys know I've been with Dimitri for a while now." How on earth could I forget? "You see..." she continued, still hesitant.

"Oh just tell them!" squealed Lissa, getting impatient.

"Her majesty insists" joked Eddie. Another thing I really loved about Lissa was that she was so casual about being Queen. She was the opposite of what my great-aunt had been like- completely un-snobbish, selfless and lighthearted.

"Dimitri and I are getting married and we wanted to invite you guys to the wedding" Rose said gesturing towards us, rushing her words to get the announcement over and done with. I could see in her eyes that she was excited about everything, but she probably found it difficult to say to me after everything we'd been through. She also probably knew that it was easier for her to say than it was for me to hear. If that's what she thought, then she was right. The moment the words left her mouth, my heart sank just a little lower than it'd already been set since the day we broke up. It wasn't like I hadn't expected it of course... I guess I'd just been living in denial about it, acting as though their relationship wasn't real, as if _they_ weren't real...

"Congratulations!" exclaimed Eddie. If he was aware of how the news made me feel then he wasn't doing a great job at showing it. Rose reached into her bag once again, this time producing two white and gold wedding invitations from it's depths and handing one to each of us. I glanced down at it and read the details, written out in a fancy, intricate design. June 1st... 3 months and a bit and she'd never be the girl I loved ever again, she wouldn't even have the same name. Rosemarie Belikov. The worst part was that it actually sounded about as close to perfection as a name could get. It sounded a whole lot better than Rosemarie Ivashkov that's for sure. I choked back any traces of sadness from my voice and gave her the best smile I could muster.

"Yeah, congrats" I nodded, agreeing with Eddie. No sooner than the words had left my mouth, I saw her aura light up. Clearly, my approval on her marriage had been far more important than Eddies. I suppose that it made me feel special in a way, it made me feel like she actually cared about me even if it wasn't in the same way I cared for her. Seeing her smiling at me, so content and sincere, I couldn't help but feel her happiness as if I was actually physically sharing her emotions. Part of me- though how big a part it was I wasn't exactly sure- felt happy for her... Belikov too.

"So, made any wedding plans yet?" asked Eddie, clearly genuinely interested in getting in on all the gossip. He and Rose had been pretty much best friends since their early childhood, and I couldn't even begin to imagine how excited he must've been for her.

"Obviously, Lissa's my maid of honour" stated Rose, gesturing to the girl on her right, "and Christian agreed to be Dimitri's best man as long as he doesn't have to wear a tie. As for bridesmaids, I was thinking Mia and Dimitri's sister Viktoria would be a good choice. Oh, and also maybe my Alchemist friend Sydney. You know the one who helped me last year? I haven't heard much of her lately but I'm sure my dad can get me in contact with her." I almost laughed at the irony that she so happened to be talking about the girl I'd literally _just_ got back from a date with. But seriously. Sydney? A bridesmaid? At a dhampir wedding? I honestly couldn't picture it, although I'd bet anything It'd be hilarious.

"Oh we know _a lot _about Sydney" said Eddie knowingly, turning to me and raising his eyebrows suggestively.

"Ohh gossip!" giggled Lissa, "spill it. That's an order." I chuckled at her flippant use of her Queenly power before providing them with my 'gossip'.

"Oh, we met a few weeks back and... I kinda just got back from a date with her"

"Seriously?" questioned Rose, a smile creeping onto her lips. I wasn't sure if it was because she knew how Sydney could be with vampires or because she was happy to see me moving on with my love life. Not that it could really be called 'moving on' when my feelings for Rose were still overpowering my feelings for Sydney...

I nodded, but before I had time to properly respond, Eddie had already jumped in with a smart remark. "And don't we know it!" he exclaimed in an over-exaggerated manner, "I looked away from them to scan the area a little and when I turned back they were caught in a major lip-lock over the table." This time, I saw Rose genuinely smile. I had a feeling that it was more to do with me being happy with someone else than how much the Alchemist hated our kind.

"Sydney's great" stated Rose, her voice sincere, "uptight and a _major_ car geek... but great." A car geek? I never would have guessed that one. Interesting.

After a little more casual chat and a glass or two of wine (three in my case) to celebrate the soon to be couple, The Queen stood up.

"Well we best be off" she stated, "a few of my other guardians have been waiting in the car and they're probably bored to tears!"

"Okay, well it was really great to see you" replied Eddie, also getting to his feet. He hugged Lissa goodbye and then went over to talk to Rose, taking time to congratulate her once again. I took this as my chance to sneak a word with Lissa about her 'slightly off' aura.

"Liss" I began, gently taking her to one side, "are you okay?... your aura seems a bit... messy." Wow- I was _amazing_ at describing stuff. Not...

"Oh, it's just spirit" she replied, shrugging off the situation far more lightly than she should've done. "It's just that Rose and I don't have the bond anymore and I have to handle it by myself. It's tough... but I'm managing." Despite her fantastic charisma skills she always displayed, she seemed unsure of her words.

"Okay... well just call if you need any help" I told her, hugging her goodbye as I noticed Eddie do the same to Rose.

"Of course"

After releasing Lissa from my grip, I turned to face the brunette who I hadn't notice walk over to me.

"It's good to see you Rose" I said, wrapping my arms around her as I had with Lissa. Wait... where was the spark I used to feel when I hugged her... or had any type of contact with her for that matter?

* * *

><p>That night, I once again felt a spirit dream coming on beyond my control. To tired to do anything about it, I allowed myself to be carried into someone else's dreams, escaping my magically messed up mind for a while. I wasn't shocked when the person I saw, standing in the alleyway where we had met a few weeks ago, was Sydney. She turned to me as I approached her, giving me a little smile that made my heart flutter just a tiny bit... not that I just thought that...<p>

"Hey" she greeted- simple but by far the nicest greeting I'd ever gotten from her. "What brings you here?"

"Honestly... I have no idea. I just sort of got dragged here against my will. More importantly- what brings _you_ here? It's day-time, shouldn't you be awake?"

"Well, when you're an Alchemist, you're kinda always on the night shift" she shrugged, "just catching up on my beauty sleep."

"Not that you need it" I commented, before I could stop it slipping out. I could swear I saw her tilt her head down to hide a blush but I didn't dare accuse her of it. Likely-hood was, she'd deny it and then we'd be off our good terms and back to how we were a few days ago. I suddenly remembered the conversation I'd had earlier with Rose.

"You're gonna be a bridesmaid" I stated, changing the subject.

"What on earth are you on about?"

"Rose and Dimitri are getting married..." I explained, failing in my attempts to hide my sadness at the mere mention of it. Unfortunately, she picked up on it.

"And your unhappy about it" she replied, a statement not a question. She _knew_ how I was feeling, just like she knew just about everything through means I probably didn't want to know about.

"Yeah" I replied, sitting down against a dirty brick wall. She came and sat down beside me, looking up at me in concern that she'd never shown me before.

"And you love her"

"I do" I admitted, although something told me I shouldn't have said it in front of Sydney, not after how much I'd felt for her on our date. All was silent for a while, but it wasn't awkward it was... peaceful.

"You'll get over her" my companion finally replied, nodding her head in certainty.

"How can you be sure?" I asked her, doubtful.

"Because I just know things" she stated, so sure of herself. "And I know you're a good guy and that you won't have any trouble finding someone else. You'll have heaps of girls to choose from in life, I promise you. All you have to do is pick the right one."

Almost on instinct, I gently placed an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer into me. To my surprise, she rested her head against my chest, causing a strange electric shock to shoot through me, not too unlike when we kissed. Despite everything going on with Rose, I couldn't help but take comfort in the company I was in right at that moment and how calm and right everything felt.

I bent down a little to place a kiss to the top of Sydney's head before mumbling to myself "I don't think picking will be too difficult."

Even if she was no Rose Hathaway, I got the feeling that the little blonde Alchemist in my arms was the best I was going to have in a long time...

* * *

><p>xx<p> 


	6. The Meeting

**Don't be Scared Little Alchemist**

Sorry for my awful spelling in this... well I don't actually _know_ if it's awful because oddly enough, my spellchecker appears to have quite literally dissapeared from my word processor thingy- the single weirdest thing ever to happen to my compter aside from my 'shut down' tab myseriously vanishing...

Chapter 6

After waking up at a ridiculous hour from my peacful little spirit dream with Sydney, I was beyond restless for the rest of the night. Upon waking, I realised that I'd stupidly forgotten to ask Lissa if she knew anything about getting pulled into peoples dreams by accident. I doubted she'd know much about it since as far as I knew she still wasn't exactly a master when it came to dream walking, but it still might've been worth getting her input.

Out of all of yesterdays events, the last thing I'd been thinking about was my out of control powers. My mind was reeling with images of Rose and Dimitri, taunting me. They were getting married, _she_ was getting married, I'd never have another chance with her... not that I ever really thought I would. From the day she looked me right in the eyes and told me she wasn't the one for me, I knew we'd never be together again. I could see how much she loved Belikov all along, it was in every expression on her face, in everything she said to me, in every kiss we ever shared. Memories of that day flooded back to me, her words pelting me, cutting into me like razorblades. What a load of absolute crap she told me. Only Rose could have the guts to use cheesy break-up lines on the guy who's heart she ripped out, stomped all over and then just left there without even cleaning up all the mess she made, all the metaphorical blood she spilled.

My train of thought was interupted by what sounded like a knock at the window. I tried my best to ignore it, it was probably just some bird that was stupid enough to fly into the side of the house. I pulled my covers up over my head, blocking out as much light as I could- even with dark curtains to block out most of the sun's rays', sleeping in the day was still far harder than I imagined it would be at night. That's when I heard it again.

Reluctantly, I jumped out of bed and staggered over to the window. For once, I hadn't gone to bed drunk... well not as much as usual anyway and I was surprised how clear my head felt for once. Clear aside from all the 'Rose-business' and the low, tired hum of spirit. At least it was giving me a break for once. I clumsily flung the curtains open, flinching a little as I felt the sun hot on my skin. It was the middle of the day, not an ideal time for Moroi to be up and around. From what I could see, nobody was at the window, everything was just as it always was. What a waste of a two metre walk. I was just about to turn around and go back to bed when I was suddenly ambushed by several small stones, hitting the window and bouncing off onto the driveway. I came closer to the window, peering downwards at the ground below to find out who the culprit was... Sydney.

Not only was it the last thing I would ever expect for Sydney to come and find _me_ rather than vice-versa, but it was even stranger how cliche she was being about it. Having said that, her face hardly expressed dreamy, romantic admiration like any other person throwing rocks at someones window would- oh no. She looked just as irritated as she usually did. I was beginning to wonder if she was always genuinely pissed off or if that was just how she naturally looked...

Either way, I couldn't help but admire how the sunlight complimented her appearance, reflecting beautifully off of her golden blonde hair and complimenting her skin tone- pale but nowhere near pale enough to be Moroi. I swung my window open, leaning out slightly and grinning down at her. Her face didn't brighten, but I never expected it would.

"You took your time" she said. I ignored her criticism and began an entirely new conversation, I couldn't be doing with bantering with her when I was so tired.

"Well this is romantic" I observed, my smile never leaving my face. "I'm impressed little Alchemist." She scowled at the nickname I kept using against her will. "Do you think you could've picked a better time than midday, though?"

"You needed someone" she stated, her voice surprisingly gentle, her expression softening- maybe she did just look annoyed for no reason all the time. "I could tell from the dream, your hurting." She continued to gaze up at me, her chocolate eyes boreing into my soul as though she was reading my mind, all my deepest secrets.

"Not _hurting_ exactly..." I countered, trying to keep up my brave front. I tended to do that, I rarely liked to seem like anything more than a carefree ladies man/ bad boy. "... much" I finished quietly. Sydney gave a little sympathetic sigh accompanied by a look of compasion I suspected she rarely showed to anyone. I suppose we were similar in that sense, we both liked to lock our emotions up, pretend to be something we weren't.

"Come out here" she offered, "we can go for a walk or something, try and take your mind off of things." Before now I'd clearly had no idea how much this girl must've genuinely cared about me. I mean sure, she'd known about my spirit dreams all along and agreed to a bet she knew she couldn't win just so she could go on a date with me, but this was different. It wasn't just some jokey 'I-kinda-like-you-and-wanna-get-to-know-you-a-little' gesture, this was an 'I-really-care-about-you-and-wanna-make-sure-you're-okay' type of thing, which I personally much preferred. There was, however, one tiny problem.

"Did you forget it's the middle of the night for me?" I laughed, "it's too hot out there, the sun's up too high." She rolled her eyes and mumbled something that sounded like 'stupid vampires'. I guess when she said she was sorry about being prejudice towards me she meant that she just wouldn't do it to my face anymore... and I guess that somehow excluded mumbling mean stuff under her breath when she thought I wasn't listening.

"Will it kill you?" she questioned, her trademark tone of irritation creeping back into her words.

"No..."

"Well then just this once I'm sure you can bear it... plese Adrian I drove all the way out here just to make sure you were okay." Was she _guilt-tripping _me? Seriosuly? Never-the-less I couldn't help but feel a little flattered that she'd do something like that for me, that is of course if she actually did it. For all I knew she could've just been driving through the neighbourhood and gotten a random, uncontrolable urge to throw gravel at my window multiple times... although that would've been pretty odd.

"Okay, okay" I sighed, giving in with far less of a battle than I would've usually done, "just gimme a second and I'll be down..." With that, I closed up the window and the curtains, changed into my favourite blue skinnies and plain grey chuck on t-shirt (the most casual outfit I own by a long shot), didn't even bother with my hair for the first time in my life and then quietly left the house. All in the space of less then 5 minutes- a new record in the challenging sport of 'how-long-Adrian-Ivashkov-takes-to-get-ready', bypassing my old personal best by about forty minutes... maybe even fifty.

Despite the winter weather and Sydney wearing the long black coat she'd been wearing the other night, I didn't feel the cold during the day, especially when the sun was out like this. It made eveything too hot, every step a struggle.

"That was quick" the Alchemist stated, falling into step with me as we walked down the road. I simply laughed and nodded in respone, yet again amazed how she always seemed to know what was on my mind. We walked on in a comfortable silence for a while, not needing any words to appreciate each others company. I liked that Sydney didn't talk too much, it helped me relax in a way that made all my problems near enough vanish- unlike with Rose who talked pretty much 24/7. However, it was only a little while before my companion spoke up again.

"You know, she messed me around too..."

"Huh?" I questioned.

"Rose" Sydney explained, "she abandoned me when I needed her, the gaurdians were questioning me like crazy and she just got what she needed and ran for it. I don't see why she couldn't have at least taken me with her... I was so scared, I didn't know what they were going to do with me. Would they've killed me for helping her and Dimitri? Rose supposedly killed the Queen after all..." I watched as she trailed off, no doubt thinking about what it'd been like back in those days. I often thought about it too, though for me the memories were mostly happy ones. Come to think of it, in the middle of all that drama I'd had a pretty good run, just hanging out safely at court while Rose, Dimitri and Sydney were on the run...

"Of course, I was released as soon as her name was cleared" she finished, "we haven't spoken since... and now she wants me to be a bridesmaid! Mixed messages or what?" I gave a sarcastic little chuckle.

"She wants me to _go_" I said, "that's bad enough after what she did... that woman's been nothing but trouble ever since I met her."

"And yet you still love her" stated Sydney. She could see it like she could see so much of me just by looking at my face. She could read me like a book, but this time I don't think she was expecting my reply.

"_Loved_" I corrected, "I've been doing a lot of thinking..." I struggled to find a way to form the last part of my sentence, but it still came out messy and unclear. "I guess I _do_ love her... but at the same time I don't. I mean, I love her because she's her, but at the same time I hate the things she does and the way she makes me feel. And it hit me- shouldn't love be happy? If I really loved her, would I support all her choices? Accept her relationship and not be jealous?"

"No one should accept what she did to you" Sydney chimed in, staring up at me and listening intently. Without realising it, we'd stopped walking when we reached the park we'd met up in before our date. I gestured for her to follow me and we sat ourselves down on a grassy bank, still slightly wet from last nights frost.

"Still" I continued, "I almost did accept it- for a little while- last night. I was almost happy for them and then later on I hugged Rose and it didn't feel the same. I'm just so confused. Did I accept her marriage because I love her and I'm happy because she's happy or because I don't love her anymore? Do I only think I love her because I'm so used to it and I keep telling myself I do or do I really?... I don't know, and this darn spirit's making it worse!" It was true, I was beginning to ramble, my thoughts becoming even more messed up than they were when I was intoxicated.

"What's it like? Spirit?" Sydney questioned, her eyes full of curiosity and wonder.

"It's like..." I began, searching for the right words, "It's enough to make you want to die to be bluntly honest. It takes over your life, makes you crazy, not yourself. Sometimes I feel fine, I feel me... but other times it's like I'm so far away, so detatched from myself that I can't control my own words and actions. Sure, the powers are cool: dreamwalking- obviously- seeing aura's and reading emotions, great charisma skills, amazing complusion no matter how wrong it is, healing wounded and sick people, even bringing people back from the dead! But... it's just not worth it. All the powers in the world wouldn't be worth the side effects, nothing on Earth would be enough to make up for it." It took me a while to realise that somewhere during my semi-spirit-induced speech, Sydneys hand had intertwined with mine, sending a feeling of an unspoken understanding all through my body. I shifted closer to her, glad she didn't take to her old habits and flinch away.

"I don't feel like myself anymore" I stated, blankly gazing off into the distance. "I hate it. So, _so_ much." I laid back into the grass while my companion stayed sitting, never once letting go of my hand.

"I wish there was something I could do to help" she told me, "but I'm just a human, magic's not exactly within my field of experience." I giggled a little at this, the sound coming out weird and strangled due to my laying down position.

"You do enough" I told her with a casual nod. "You listen, you try and understand. That's more than most people do."

"Besides Queen Vasilisa" she pointed out. She really_ did_ know everything about me.

"Sometimes I think she's even more out of control than I am" I said, still hating how off she'd seemed last night. I couldn't help but worry about her. As always, Sydney seemed to sense my worry and lay down beside me.

"She'll be fine" she stated, "and so will you. I promise. I know things." I could see in her eyes that she genuinely believed that.

"How _do_ you know all this stuff anyway?" I questioned, lightening my tone and turning onto my side so I was facing her.

"For me to know and you to wonder..." she giggled, a jokey, false sense of mystery around her words. She turned on her side just as I had, propping her head up on her free hand as I did the same.

"I'll get it out of you some day" I stated. As I looked at the girl before me, I couldn't help but take notice of her aura. It was so bright that it appeared as though she herself was glowing, radiating happiness all around her. I knew that aura, I'd only ever seen it once- on Rose and Dimitri after they slept together at that hotel...

"Can I ask you something?" I said, getting more serious though still keeping my tone light.

"Sure" replied Sydney, not sure what to expect. I knew my guardians would hate me for this, but something in the back of my mind was telling me it was the right thing to do, even if she was a human _and_ an Alchemist. Thats a double taboo, right there. I was going to make a point of showing the snooty royal society that race and class didn't matter, even Lissa being queen hadn't managed to change their minds.

"Well, you see" I began, "incase you haven't noticed over these past few weeks, I've got a bit of a thing for you... and by 'thing' I mean... well I don't really know, my head's a mess." She chuckled a little at this but allowed me to continue anyway. "I know I haven't really got my feelings about Rose straight yet, but to be completely open with you, you make me really happy. Like... I dunno I don't feel as crazy or depressed when you're around. I can be myself I guess... as soppy as all this sounds, I was wondering if maybe you'd consider... like officially getting together." Oh man, I was messing this up! Since when did I find it hard to ask a girl out?

"You mean like boyfriend/ girlfriend?" she asked, her face seemingly expressionless.

"You could call it that" I chuckled. I waited a moment for her to consider her reply, but I took the fact that she was still holding my hand as a good sign. "But Sydney" I added, not failing to notice how her face seemed to light up when I used her real name instead of one of my nicknames. "You have to realise that I'm not over Rose yet..."

"I understand" she stated, "I don't expect you to be, but if you need me around I'll help out in any way I can, even if you _are_ vampire." I was impressed that she didn't say an 'evil creature' or something. "Will it help you if I accept?" she questioned, "will it help you get over her? Help you deal with spirit?".

I nodded. "Sydney, I _do_ care about you, you know, I'm not just using you to get over Rose. Just because I'm not over her, it doesn't mean I don't feel something for you too. Rose is getting _married_. I need to move on." The Alchemist just stared at me, searching my eyes for any signs of lying. I shuffled closer to her, making the small gap between us even smaller.

"Need convincing?" I asked, my flirty voice subconciously cutting through the serious mood I'd set. Sydney hesitated, adjusting herself to the smaller space, before nodding. It was all I needed. I leaned in, closing the tiny gap remaining between our lips. She took less time to react this time, kissing me back just as egarly as I kissed her. I removed my hand from hers, sliding it gently up her arm and all the way to the back of her neck, feeling her shiver under my touch as I did. Lost in the moment, I gently rolled her over so that I was kneeling over her, straddling her legs with my own. I ran my hands through her hair, down her sides, pretty much everywhere to be honest- we were lucky barely anyone was around. All the while she gripped on to my shirt, not wanting me to let go. Unfortunaley, I had to.

I pulled back, brushing some stray hairs out of her face as I did. I watched as she smiled up at me kindly, her aura practically blinding me.

"Believe me now?" I questioned before dropping a quick kiss onto her forehead. Completely out of her usual character, Sydney shook her head and attempted a near-perfect re-creation of my trademark flirty smile/voice combination... copier...

"Not quite" she said, "maybe I need a bit more persuading..." She didn't even have to ask. Before she even knew what was going on, my lips crashed into hers more pasionately than ever before, my tongue gently running across them, egarly asking for enterance without being too demanding. After all, Sydney was still getting used to the idea of so much as accepting vampires, let alone making out with one. Clearly, she was getting used to me far quicker than I thought and before I knew it our tongues were locked in a fierce battle for dominance. Very lightly and very slowely she licked one of my fangs causing me to let out a small moan, unable to hold it back. I swear, if we weren't in the middle of a public park... well I'm not gonna go into it.

While I was kissing her, I couldn't help but remember a conversation I'd had with Rose long ago. She'd said that she didn't balance me, that when I found someone who did I would know what she meant. I wondered if this was it, if Rose was right. Sydney and I were so alike, yet so different. She was serious, shy and scared and I was loud, outgoing and confident, but underneath it all, we both hid one thing: sadness. It _balanced_... so I suppose _she _balanced _me_... in a way. I wasn't really sure what Rose was on about at the time, but it was starting to make sense. She and Dimitri were opposites. He was in control, serious and stoic and she was impulsive, crazy and vibrant... yet they were both determined and dedicated to their jobs. It matched. Perfectly.

"What do you two think you're doing! Kids today, honestly!" came the voice of an old man near by, distracting me from my thoughts and causing me to pull away from Sydney. We both looked over to him as stood there shaking his walking stick in the air in fury. It was a pretty hilarious sight to say the least. Soon enough he rolled his eyes and hobbled off down the road. I took one glance back at the girl below me and caught a sparkle in her eyes. The next thing I knew, we were in stitches laughing about the man, so much so that I rolled off of her onto my back and had to clutch my stomach to stop it aching. It was the first time I'd ever heard Sydney laugh, properly laugh I mean. I'm not going to say it was 'ever so beautiful' because no one really ever means that. Laugher's a strange sound at best, but it sure was contagious. However, hearing her laugh filled me with warmth, made me feel good. Seeing her so happy made me forget all my worries, even if only for a little while.

"So" I said catching my breath, "I _really_ hope you believe me now because I don't wanna risk having that guy come over here again and beat us to death with his walking stick."

"Yes I believe you" she said, still giggling to herself. "Oh, and yes to being your girlfried too... you're an okay guy Ivashkov, especially-"

"Thank you" I stated, cutting her off, "you don't need to say any more... just thank you. Not many people would go out with a guy who was still stuck on some bride-to-be..." Trailing off, I kissed her once more, softly and quickly this time- partly to create a sweet moment and partly because I genuinely believed that that guy's walking stick might actually be lethal.

One thought still played at the back of my mind, even in this moment of happiness... what on _Earth_ were Eddie and Gareth going to think...

* * *

><p>xx<p> 


	7. The Spiral

**Don't be Scared Little Alchemist**

Again- no spellchecker... it never re-appeared...

Sorry about how long I took with this one- lot's of school stuff like exams and stuff, but I eventually managed to find a little bit of spare time! Also, thank you so much to everyone who's been reviewing, it means LOADS to me, so much it's actually pretty sad :D

Chapter 7

"I still don't get why _I_ have to be there" protested Sydney as we stood outside my house. It was almost dark now- Eddie and Gareth would be up for sure, wondering where I was no doubt.

"Because if you're there then they'll be less likely to murder me- metaphorically speaking of course" I explained, regretting the discomfort that I brought to her face at the mention of 'murder'. In her mind, who knew what she thought Eddie and Gareth capable of doing!

This was it, the moment I was going to come clean to my guardians about my relationship with Sydney, to hell with the consequences.

"Still, I don't really know them and after all they're-"

"Dhampirs" I finished, "_not_ vampires. They don't even drink blood, in case you didn't already know that." She still didn't look convinced, her worry hurt me. I turned to face her, taking her hands in reassurance.

"Sydney, I promise you that-"

"Well, well, well..." came a new voice from the doorway- unfortunatly pretty much the last voice I wanted to hear right now, one I knew like the back of my hand and had been living with for the past year or so. My nagging best friend. Eddie. Sydney visibly jumped about a mile high while I turned around to face him grudgingly, a snarky half smile on my lips. To be honest I'd seen his aura apporaching before he'd actually opened the door, I just thought he'd take longer to reach it.

"Okay" I chuckled, arms raised in surrender. "You caught me Eddison. Red handed." I made a sweeping gesture towards my lovely enemy-turned-girlfriend and continued with "we're dating. Problem?" To my surprise, Eddie's lecture launched into a totally different direction.

"Actually" he said, "right now I'm more concerned with the fact that you snuck out without a Guardian! What were you thinking!" I rolled my eyes at him, a trait I seemed to be picking up from Sydney.

"In the middle of the _day_" I countered, turning on my best sarcastic tone. "Last time I checked, Strigoi burn up in the sun. Besides- wouldn't you do the same for Mia?" Despite my obvious joking manner, I could practically feel Sydney's heart flutter through the contact of our hands as I compared her to Eddie's dearly loved girlfriend.

"Haven't you leared anything over the past few years?" Eddie asked, a condescending undertone to his words. "Humans are helping them! Surely you realised that when I got captured by them, when _Rose_ got captured by them!" Playing the 'Rose Card'... not a smart move Castile, not smart at _all_. "Who's to say it wouldn't have happened to you?" he continued, "who's to say that you didn't endanger your life _and _Sydney's life by default?" Although her name was mentioned, the girl beside me remained as quiet as she always was in such situations. In fact- she was physically shaking, I could feel it through her hand that never let mine go.

"For crying out loud!" I countered, "_you're_ the only one endangering her, you're scaring her to death with your stupid attitude. I'm old enough to take care of myself, at least in the day time. I may be Moroi but I'm not weak, I could take out any human any time!"

"Whatever Ivashkov" spat my 'less-likable-every-second' guardian. "It _isn't_ the day now. It's night. Strigoi time. Get inside." His voice went deadpan and his eyes went cold- the face of a man who does _not_ want to be fucked with.

"At least let me say goodbye to my _girlfriend_" I said, putting empasis on 'girlfriend' to further wind him up. He nodded, his facial features remaining blank, but he didn't leave. He was probably scared I'd run off again- where the hell had the trust gone in our friendship? To make my point even clearer I turned to face Sydney and pulled her in for a deep, passionate, lustful kiss, bringing her closer and closer to me as I did. It may've just been to irritate Eddie... but _gosh_ was it good! For someone who'd been shaking in fright just seconds ago, Sydney responded alarmingly well, so well in fact that she caught me off gaurd, taking over, controlling the kiss in her own way. Her hands ran through my hair as she willingly pressed herself closer and closer to me and when we pulled apart, her face- not to mention her aura- had brightened considerably.

"Bye Adrian" she mumbled into my lips as she kissed me once again. I wasn't sure if this new found confidence was real or just to prove a point to my man-bitch of a guardian.

"Bye" I responded, turning to watch her walk back to her car. The way she walked- gracefully but with purpose- showed how strong and beautiful she was. She was stunning in the twilight, the half moon making her hair glimmer like liquid silver.

"Inside!" came a harsh, male voice, snapping me back into reality. I stormed into the house, pushing Eddie as hard as I could on my way past- difficult when the guy was probably twice my weight and strength. He barely stumbled back an inch.

"What exactly was that for?" he asked as he closed the door. He no longer sounded angry but a note of irritation lingered on in his voice.

I just cut straight to the point. "_You don't control me_" I shouted, staring him down as he did to me when he acted like he was superior. "Stop acting like I'm a child and you're my parent- I'm older than you! Quit telling me off when I've done something 'bad'. You're supposed to protect me, not run my life!"

"Well, sorry! I'll just let you wander off on your own without any form of defense whenever you please and see what happens, okay? Will _that_ help keep you safe?" he responded, crossing his arms over his chest. He had a point.

"It's not so much what you do as how you do it" I reasoned, "it's the way you look down on me with your judgy little eyes, commanding me to obey you. You never used to be like this Eddie, we're best friends. You've only started acting this way since-"

"Since _you_ started acting out like a bratty teenager"

"Since _Sydney_" I finished. "Don't even bother denying it. What the hell is your problem with her?" For a moment, he looked at a loss for words. We'd had this conversation, I knew his motives to dislike our relationship and had written them all off as stupid and superficial. He was clearly trying to come up with an argument that actually made sense and didn't just sound like he was obsessed with my already destroyed reputation getting even worse: 'Adrian Ivashkov- notorious alcholic, chain smoker and manwhore who drank blood from a dhampir when engaging in sexual activity (yeah that thing with Rose got around pretty quick...) and then dated her human/ Alchemist companion'- nice. Okay, so my reputation _really_ sucked, but who was Eddie to be worrying about it when I didn't give a damn?

"You know" he began, lowering his voice considerably and shaking his head. "I don't even know." I just stared at him as he walked over to me and put a hand on my shoulder. This wasn't what I'd expected at all! "She's good for you, she makes you happy I can see that. It's just... what's everyone gonna think?"

"Who cares?" I countered, my voice also softening.

"_Everyone_- You're an Ivashkov! The largest and most famous royal family around! You-" Eddie's speech was cut off when my phone began to ring, flashing up with a number I hadn't seen in a very long time- '_Rose'._

"Hello" I said, the shock clearly showing in my voice, making it sound more like a question than a greeting. "What's up?"

"Adrian, I'm really sorry to bother you but I didn't know who else to call." She sounded panicked, I couldn't stand to hear her that way. "It's Lissa, I don't know what to do I thought she had everything under control but she didn't and now she's completely lost it and I don't know what to do anymore I didn't know anything was wrong cause I lost the bond cause stupid Tasha shot me and speaking of her, Christian's the one who found Lissa and it was really really bad lots and lots of blood and she wont come out of her room and-"

"Woah Woah, calm down" I soothed. She'd been talking so quickly it made my head spin, not even stopping for a second to breathe. "_Slowley._ Tell me exactly what happened."

"There's no time for 'slowley'" she replied, "please Adrian, just get here as quick as you can!"

"Okay." I hung up

"What was that about?" questioned Eddie, appearing to have all but completely forgotten our earlier fight.

"It's Lissa, she's... well I don't actually know, Rose was rambling" I explained, "go find Gareth, we have to leave- right now!"

The journey to the Royal court was a quick one, but it felt like a lifetime when I was worrying about Lissa. I know spirit seemed to take more of a toll on her than it did on me due to my 'self medication' but I didn't really understand just how bad it was. What had Rose said? Blood... lots of blood. My heart was pounding, every second we spent in the car was a second too long, a second that I wasn't helping out my 'cousin'. The mood in the car was tragic, even the weather was picking up on the sadness around us. It was starting to rain.

When we finally arrived, I all but sprinted over to the Queen's chambers, trying not to attract too much attention as I did so. The last thing I wanted was to be dragged into a long, boring, formal conversation with someone I'd probably rather not speak to. The light drizzle had turned into full on raindrops by now, pounding into me, no doubt ruining my hair even more than it had been before. Talk about a bad hair day- leave the house without even styling it and then get it drenched. All that aside though, I had bigger things to worry about. I reached Lissa's home in no time, Eddie and Gareth close behind me. When I knocked on the door it was Christian who answered.

"That was quick" he observed, moving to one side and letting us in. The urgency of the situation was clear, he didn't even offer any greetings to us, there was no time to catch up on what'd happened in the year we hadn't seen one another. Christian led us upstairs and along a long, winding corridor. The place was even bigger than I'd remembered from last time I was there. Eventually, we came accross Rose standing by a closed door and banging on it frantically.

"Lissa" she called, "Liss, open the door _please._" From a closer observation I could see tears in her eyes, dripping down her cheeks. She turned to face us when she noticed our presence. "Oh thank God" she breathed, "I still can't get her to come out. I was wondering if you could read her aura through the door or something, see how she's doing." There was a pleading note to her voice and a look in her eyes to match. How could I say no, especially when it was Lissa? First though, I needed answers.

"What even happened?" I asked, already beginning to get a sense of her aura. I hadn't been drinking or smoking lately due to my little romantic escape with Sydney, so I was completely in touch with my powers- usually a bad thing, but _very _helpful in situations like this!

"I found her in an alleyway before the sun even went down" spoke Christian in a low voice so as to not risk Lissa overhearing. "She'd reverted back to her depression she used to get when she was younger, before she understood her powers... but it was so much worse. She used to cut herself when she was sad to release the pain and supposedly reduce the effects of spirit but this time..." The boy looked down in a grimance, hiding his face in his thick black hair.

"She completely sliced her arms up" whispered Rose, "a little bit on her legs too, around the ankles. She had a knife, it wasn't just a little razorblade... not that I'm comfortable with her cutting at all of course." I didn't know what to say. Apparently I really _hadn't _known the extent of spirits effects on Lissa... this was beyond anything I could've imagined. It worried me, not just for her but for me as well. For the last couple of years I'd been feeling spirit increase, the power within me become greater, stronger. There was a point when Rose, Sydney and Dimitri were on the run from the law when I didn't think I could take it any longer, I felt myself slipping further and further into the madness. What if this could be me in a year or so- this year maybe?

Finally, I managed to interpret a her aura. Spirit users auras could sometimes be hard to read, what with all the gold filling them up.

"She's sad but she's not low enough to do anything like she did before" I stated simply, not really wanting to repeat what Rose and Christian had told me. "She feels bad about what she did, that it hurt you as well as herself."

"And is she _okay?_" asked Christian impatiently. He had a right to be impatient- this was his girlfriend we were talking about after all.

"Right now she is" I replied, "she just want's some privacy."

"She's been in there for over two hours!" exclaimed Rose, no longer trying to keep her voice down. "_You_ need to talk to her Adrian. You understand this more than any of the rest of us ever could." Her face softened as she said this, clearly yearning for the days when her bond to Lissa would've helped her to sympathise with her.

"Okay" I stated, "just give me some time alone with her. I'll get her to talk."

"No compulsion" warned Rose, clearly not forgetting the brief times I'd used it on her in the past- not without good reason of course.

"Oh darn!" I exclaimed sarcastically, "I was gonna use this new trick I invented called 'do the impossible and somehow compel someone through a brick wall'."

"This isn't the time" she replied icily. She then headed off down the hallway, Christian in tow. I nodded to Eddie and Gareth to leave too and they followed along behind them.

"Lissa" I began, "incase you didn't hear all the commotion just then, it's Adrian." No response. "I can help you" I continued, "It doesn't have to be this way, we can fight through it together like we used to."

"No one can help" came a small, scared voice from the other side of the door. It killed me to hear such a level of fear in the voice of someone I loved, especially when I knew how she must've been feeling. I'd felt it too, but I could only imagine that right now, she felt it a million times worse than I ever had.

"I can" I insisted, keeping my tone soft, "just let me in. Please. Let me try." All was silent for a moment until I finally heard footsteps from the other side of the door. Gently, it swung open to reveal a messy haired, bloodshot eyed, tear stained Moroi queen. I couldn't help but notice the bandages tightly wrapping up her arms. She quickly ushered me inside and closed the door behind us. Her room was almost as much of a mess as she was- picture frames and vases smashed against the walls, tables and chairs flung around, her bedsheets littering the floor. I swiftly turned one of the fallen chairs into an upright position and sat down on it. I gestured for her to sit on her bed opposite me and she did as she was asked.

"So tell me" I began, trying to keep this as casual as possible. "Why didn't you let Rose and Christian in, but you let me in straight away?" Her answer was simple.

"You get it. They don't. They _can't_." It was true and yet another downside of spirit- it was so rare, very few people could fully understand the power it had over people.

"Why didn't you tell me when you visited me the other day?"

"I didn't want to worry you, I thought I could handle it. Clearly I can't" she admitted.

"I think you can" I countered, my voice as encouraging as I could manage to make it.

"Not without the bond" she replied with a solemn shake of her head.

"Hey" I said, my tone lighter. "I manage and that's saying something. You're a far stronger person than I'll ever be, Liss. If I can do this, then you can do it even better."

"You don't know that"

"I _do_" I insisted, "I know because I know you and I know that you're one of the most strong willed, determined people I've ever met. I mean- look where you are right now! You're the Queen for crying out loud! The youngest Queen in a long time too. If you can do that, then you're capable of controlling spirit." She seemed mildly comforted by my words but still appeared unsure. "Trust me" I said, giving her hands a quick, reassuring squeeze. A brief flicker of a smile crossed her features.

"There you go!" I exclaimed, flashing her a smile of my own and practically jumping out of my seat. "You coming?" I gestured for her to follow and she did so without hesitation, clearly drawing energy from what I hoped were inspiring words. She looked far from happy, but her spirits (no pun intended) appared to have lifted, at least a little. She could face the others. With that, I lead her back downstairs and into the thankful, awaiting arms of Christian and Rose, overjoyed to see her okay.

When I got home that night, I was still worried sick about her. All my usual thoughts of anything else vanished from my mind- all except my constant worries about my own spirit powers and where they might take me...

* * *

><p>xx<p> 


	8. The Research

**Don't be Scared Little Alchemist**

Once again- apologies for the spelling!

Chapter 8

Needless to say, the whole event with Lissa had put me on edge a bit. I mean, it isn't every day the harsh truth that you're going to lose your mind and probably try to kill yourself at some point in the near future hits you in the face with all the force of a ton of bricks. I knew I was fighting a battle with spirit, I just didn't realise how easily it could win until now. Seeing Lissa in such a state had shattered my heart- the heart I'd only recently finished glueing back together.

Eddie came striding into the living room where I was sprawled out on the sofa, the telephone in his hand and a liquor bottle mine.

"She's back on the anti-depressants" he reported, holding the phone up to indicate that he'd just been speaking on it, probably to Rose. "She doesn't like the idea, but Rose and Christian managed to persuade her eventually."

"Man... she must really hate not being in touch with her magic" I replied, trying to fathom what it would feel like to have the magic there but be unable to touch it. As much as I hated spirit, I couldn't imagine living without it, part of me craved it just as I'm sure other Moroi craved use of their safer elemental powers.

"She does" Eddie confirmed, "but she's dealing with it. She has to really, no good having _another _Queen die on us." It took Eddie a while to realise the impact of his words. The Queen before Lissa had been my great aunt. I didn't love her exactly, but she'd treated me well, she'd wanted the best for me. "Sorry" he quickly apologised. I waved a hand, dismissing the conversation.

"I'd much rather you apologised for treating me like a four year old" I said lazily, feeling pretty drunk. Not surprising since this was quite possibly my fifth drink that evening. I felt even more need to keep spirit away after what I'd seen today. The hurt came through in my words and Eddie was quick to notice.

"Look" he said, taking a seat on what little of the sofa I wasn't lead out on. "I get that you don't like us treating you like a kid, but... what choice do we have? I don't even want to think about something bad happening to you, I can't imagine it... but it happens. Even to the best of us. I've seen a lot in my short 20 years, Adrian, things that still haunt me now..." I could tell what he was talking about immediately- Spokane. His best friend Mason had been killed by Strigoi. Rose probably still beat herself up about it, constantly worrying that it'd been her fault like she always used to, but part of me blamed myself. If I could've been stronger, held on to her dream for just a second longer, just long enough for her to finish her sentence and tell me where they were, I could've saved them. Sure, she'd woken up, but while the dream was fading out, just a little more power on my part could've gotten her last few words out. "Mason died at the clutches of Strigoi _and _he was a Dhampir- he'd been training for it all his life" continued Eddie. It was clear how much this subject pained him to talk about. "What do you think you- a Moroi- could do against them?" I knew it was a rhetorical question.

Since it was now acceptable for Moroi to use their powers for defense, someone who weilded magic that could be used in such a way could do so. Fire users like Christian were particularly good at it since fire was deadly to Strigoi... well and pretty much every other living creature on the planet. I personally wouldn't wanna get on the wrong side of Christian! But me? A spirit user? What could I do? Spirit could do a whole bunch of cool stuff- just nothing very useful in a life or death situation, unless of course you had the time and energy to heal someone or bring them back to life which I for one didn't- actually, I wasn't physically capable of it. Of course, there was always the option of staking them and turning them back into what they were before, but I didn't even know how to charm a stake, let alone use one! A last resort of course would be either running away (difficult when your apponent's 10 times faster than you) or physically fighting back. Sure, I could probably put up a fair fight against a weaker human or a Moroi, but I couldn't even put a scratch on a Dhampir let alone a Strigoi. I'd be useless. End of.

"Nothing" I sighed, defeated and tired. "I couldn't do anything. I'd die."

"And I can't let that happen" concluded Eddie. "You're not just my charge, you're my best friend. Do you have any idea what it's like to lose your best friend? I can't go through that again." His words made sense, but there was still one thing that didn't quite fit.

"So" I began, "if you want me to be safe, then why do you still hate me being with Sydney?" I shut all traces of anger out of my voice as much as I could, desperate to lighten the mood and hopefully warm Eddie up to the crazy (or actually not so crazy considering I never really understood why it was so wrong to date a human) idea of me dating an Alchemist. "I mean, if I'm not allowed to be with her then I have no choice but to sneak out. I'm not gonna stop seeing her, might as well get it approved before something bad happens."

He seemed to consider it for a while, thinking it through- whatever there really was to think about. We'd covered all this before. What the hell could he still object to?

"Ok" he finally said, "fine. Date her. Whatever. Just don't go off without me and Gareth ever again. We were so freaking worried!" I had to admit- I completely understood why Eddie would be overprotective towards me, but he didn't have to have such a parental attitude. I thought I'd had the last of that when I finally escaped the clutches of my _actual_ parents!

"And" he continued, "I'll lay off the naggy parent stuff if you promise not to do anything as stupid as what you did today." The boy could read my mind. I simply smiled in appreciation, too tired to carry on this conversation now. It took every ounce of strength in my body to stop my eyelids closing, and even then they still fluttered shut every few seconds. I was practically in dreamland already

"I need to sleep" I stated, already drifting off, "I've been up since like... midday. And I-" Between my extreme tiredness and the amount I'd drank I honestly couldn't stay awake a second longer. I fell asleep right there, right then. Mid-sentence. How embaressing. After the amount of intoxication I'd undergone in the last few hours, I was sure I'd just fall into a nice, peaceful sleep- spirit free. However, drinking hadn't stopped my forced spirit dreams before and apparently it wasn't going to hold them back this time either. Before I could even register what was happening I was back at the park I'd spent the day with Sydney in and (surprise, surprise) she was there, just sitting casually in the grass, staring intently up at the full moon. Good greif, she was beautiful- it was a wonder I hadn't ever told her so.

"Little Alchemist" I greeted with a brief nod, striding over to her.

"I thought we were past that nickname" she said vacantly, her eyes never leaving the silver orb in the sky.

"I'm _never_ past my nicknames" I stated, a part of me recalling how I called Rose 'Little Dhampir' right up until we broke up. '_Now's not the time to be thinking about Rose'_ I reminded myself, '_you're here with Sydney'_. Yes- telling myself off. One of the many, many reasons I thought I was getting crazier by the day. I sat down beside her though slightly further back, just far enough to wrap my arms around her and pull her closer so she was leaning on my chest. I casually dropped a kiss on the top of her head and got brutally attacked by the butterflys in my stomach when she sighed contently. Hehe... butterflys in my stomach. I used to take that phrase so literally when I was younger that I wondered how they got in there... why am I thinking about this _now_? Okay, change of subject.

"I wish I knew why this kept happening" I mused aloud. "I've always been in control of when I visit someones dreams... but with you it doesn't work that way. I just fall asleep and the next thing I know- here I am."

"Well don't ask me" she chuckled, "incase you didn't realise yet, I'm not exactly an expert on this sort of thing."

"I thought you Alchemists knew everything."

"Oh, no" she replied, "everything we know, we learn from books. We have records of everything in your world- magic, lifestyle, even basic details of every royal Moroi and their guardians. We have to. It's part of the job. The only thing we don't have much information on is-"

"Spirit" I finished. "Which isn't very handy considering it's been quite the issue these past few days." Somehow, learning that the Alchemists got all their information from books was a bit of an anti-climax. Deep down I'd been secretly hoping they were psycic or something...

"How come?" she asked, concern clearly showing all over her face. I sighed as I remembered what I'd seen that day.

"It's Lissa" I said, "she's not well- at all. Her magic just consumed her, she couldn't take it and now she's on anti-depressants to try and keep it away. It's kinda like what I do with the drinking and smoking thing but it means she can't use her magic at all. The frustration can build up if you do that, you can end up worse in the end..." Sydney didn't answer, she probably didn't know how to. She just stared at me meaningfully with those big, brown eyes, wishing so desperately that she could do something to help. I soon spoke up again. "I just wish there was a way to get rid of spirit forever, get so far away your powers that you don't feel the need to use them anymore, free yourself from the madness" I added.

"You don't mean turning Strigoi?" she asked, visibly tensing up at the idea. She may've disliked Moroi and Dhampirs in general, but she was flat out terrified of Strigoi. Who wouldn't be?

"No" I assured her, "but if there was a way to just erase your power it'd be great..." Something seemed to click in her mind, something big. "What is it?"

"I think you might be onto something" she said, "I vaguely remember reading something once..." Even though she trailed off, my mind was reeling. Could the girl who seemed to know just about everything know a way to dissown your powers?... it wouldn't be the craziest thing I'd ever heard! If the Alchemist's knew about it, then why didn't the Moroi? Why didn't the Moroi _Queen_?

"Okay" she began jumping to her feet, clearly excited by her revealtion, "I'll come over tomorrow evening with a bunch of books and we can figure something out, okay?" I still wasn't exactly sure what she'd meant by all of this, but I trusted her enough to know she wouldn't let me down.

"Of course" I replied as she offered me a hand and helped me up. We were so close, face to face. We just stared at each other for a while, both of our hearts and minds racing at this new discovery.

"Okay, well you can let me out of this dream now" she stated, "I've got to be somewhere. It's day for me remember?"

I chuckled, "sure". I leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to her lips before allowing myself to fade back into my own mind and my own dreams- which not too surprisingly, still had Sydney in them.

* * *

><p>*Knock Knock*<p>

"Adrain! Get up for crying out loud it's 7pm!" It was Gareth, banging on my door like a crazy person.

I peeped my head out of the covers, just far enough to see the time on the clock on my bedside table. He was right, it wasn't just some trick to get me up so my guardians could drag me off to some boring conference like they had a few weeks ago. I still hadn't fully forgiven them for that, especially since they swore we were going to a nightclub... nastly asshol-

"ADRIAN!" Gosh, what had him so worked up this morning? Or evening... whatever!

"Dude!" I yelled back, "5 more minutes _please_! Whatever you want me up for can wait!"

"Okay, I'll just tell your girlfriend to leave then..." Crap. I'd completely forgotten that Sydney was coming over- odd since I'd been so excited about the prospect of finding out whatever she thought she knew about giving up your powers... not to mention she'd been on my mind _all _night. I jumped out of bed and rushed over to the mirror, frantically trying to smooth down any bits of my hair that stuck out insanely- pretty much all of it since I'd only just woken up. I looked a total mess, but then again Sydney had seen me rocking my early morning 'dragged through a hedge backwards and savaged by angry cats' inspired look yesterday. Nothing left to lose really.

"Uh... just send her up" I called, opening my wardrobe and examining the contents. I could at least not be in my pajamas when she arrived!

"To your _bedroom_?" questioned Gareth, a suggestive hint to his voice. He clearly hadn't expected an answer as he walked away straight after he's spoken. Probably just doing it to wind my up as usual. I pulled on a pair of boxers and dark blue jeans before peeling off my pajama top, completley ignoring his comment. That's Gareth for you- always trying to make everything sound sexual. Wow... he really _was_ exactly how I used to be!

Before I even had a chance to pick out a t-shirt, I heard Gareth's heavy footsteps returning followed by far lighter, almost inaudible ones which I presumed belonged to Sydney. Without any kind of warning, my bedroom door flung open revealing a grinning Gareth and a sligtly uneasy Sydney holding a mountain of books. However, her expression changed when she caught sight of me standing there- my hair insanely messy and my body shirtless. She looked admiring, almost... lustful? Due to Sydney's mostly professional attitude to life, it was hard to imagine she could even get feelings like that and so far I'd only managed to be on the (very enjoyable) recieving end of a teeny tiny fraction of passion from her. Right now- even though she probably wouldn't admit it even if I threatened to rip every single one of those books to shreds- she wanted me... or maybe that was just my natural big ego talking.

"Uhh... come in" I said to her awkwardly, shooting death looks at my irritating guardian who simply winked knowingly. I could kill him sometimes, I really could. Sydney entered the room and dumped all her books down on my bed as Gareth closed the door, muttering something like "you kids have fun" so quietly that Sydney's human ears probably hadn't picked it up. I quickly threw on a loose red t-shirt, going for the casual look for a second day in a row. What was happening to my dress sense!

"Okay" my girlfriend began, suddenly 'all-business'. She appeared to be trying to arrange the books in some sort of sensible order but seemed to be struggling with it. Personally, I wasn't much of a reader, but considering the content that those books could contain and how it could potentially help Lissa, I was willing to make an exception. "I'm not sure which one of these it was in but I've been so busy today that I haven't really had time to check" she continued.

I took a seat beside her and picked up a book, flipping through the pages. It was a book on magic, that much was obvious. Infact, I guessed all of these were on the same subject, thus the point of bringing them. The Alchemists really did know everything, page after page was filled up with more knowlage than a school textbook which made me wonder why Alchemists weren't somehow involved in the Moroi education programme. I suddenly realised that the reason for the amount of information was that offensive spells were also included- some of them were pretty awful. No wonder Sydney had some sort of vampire phobia! Earth magic- 30 pages, air magic- 27 pages, fire magic- 33 pages, water magic- 28 pages... spirit- 4 pages. I think me and Lissa had figured out more than it said in here.

"Found anything?" I asked the girl beside me, taking a second to notice for the first time since she'd arrived how well her t-shirt complimented her hair and skin tone. How was I noticing these things all of a sudden... something told me I never had with Rose, but then again I may have just blanked things like that from my memory in a feeble attempt to forget her. It seemed likely.

"Not ye- WAIT!" she cried, "this is it!" She pointed excitedly at the page, gesturing for me to come over and see. Sure enough, a title reading 'Power Surrender' was sprawled across the page. I could barely believe my eyes. Saving my shocked brain from the burden of actually reading the words, Sydney began to read it out aloud.

"Power Surrender" she began, "the method in which a Moroi may give up his or her powers. This change is irreversible and so had been discouraged in Moroi society for many years. In fact, it has been so neglected that it was outlawed in the 1700's and has been long since forgotten about. Those who know about it keep it quiet for fear that too many others will attempt to reliquish their magical abilities and therefore destroy the ways of their race. The practice of Power Surrender is not simple. It must be completed with great caution, the slightest slip up will result in terrible consequences. However, once the process is completed, the Moroi who has willingly given up their abilities will be able to live a magic free life, fitting in amongst humans far better than ever before and feeling far safer about their own power."

To me, this idea was crazy... but what I'd do to give up spirit forever. It was tempting, but there was so much that I would miss... mostly my little private Spirit dreams with the very girl reading these insane words. She went on to read about how it was done- a ritual including a series of previously unknown spells from a user of each of the four main elements. However, nothing about spirit was mentioned- it didn't even say it would be successful in 'curing' it.

"I suppose" I began, "that if a spirit user was included in the ritual then it would balance out and be able to remove spirit..."

"Maybe" replied Sydney, still looking unsure. "But it still seems risky to me..."

"Hey, no ones saying it's even going to be used" I reassured her, "and I'm sure as hell not even thinking about doing it myself! I'll talk to Lissa about it, let her make the decision. It's her power, not mine."

"True" she shrugged in response, still looking unsure. I shuffled closer to her on the bed, taking her hand and tilting her chin up to look at me. I felt the connection the second we locked eyes, so strong it was as though a physical force was pulling us together. As though it was meant to be. As though everything was perfectly... balanced. Rose's words were making more and more sense each day.

"It'll be okay, I promise" I managed to whisper, our heads already moving towards one another, my breath hitting her face as I spoke, making her shudder. It started off as a sweet, average kiss, but heated up faster than ever before. Tongues danced, hands roamed with minds of their own and before I even knew what I was doing, I pushed her down onto her back- her head landing hard on my pillows- with a strenth and desperation that I even shocked myself with. Apparently, I shocked her too and I took her moment of surprise to successfully dominate this little make out session, clambering on top of her and kissing her everywhere I could reach. For the first time since we'd been together, I actually managed to make her moan- so quietly I thought for a second that I'd imagined it- perhaps confirming my earlier theory about her wanting me. Right now... I _really _hoped I was right.

I brought my lips back up to hers as her hands found her way up to the hem of my shirt. Without a complaint it the world, I allowed her remove it quickly and easily, chuckling as she admired me once again.

"I _knew_ you were checking me out earlier Little Alchemist" I teased, "I'm just far too much of a gentleman to say anything." She didn't deny anything, she just pulled me back towards her and resumed kissing me where she left off. She moved away from my mouth for a moment, working her way along my jawline. "Not that I blame you" I continued, "I am the sexiest thing in the whole darn...mmmm." I lost all power to speak, even to crack my childish, self-absorbed jokes that I loved so much. All I could feel were Sydney's lips trailing down my jaw, my neck, my torso...

"Why... the sudden... confidence?" I managed to get out. She shifted back up so that her face was level with mine.

"I feel safe around you" she stated, "you've convinced me- not all vampires are evil. You're _definitely _not." I smiled, just staring down at her, the same thought cropping up in my mind as it did every time I stopped to look at her like this. I kissed her again, far more gentley then before.

"You're so beautiful" I mumbled, "you have no idea. You drive me crazy, Sydney..." I really meant it. Right now- for once in my life- memories of Rose weren't haunting me or holding me back. I still wasn't sure about my feelings for her, but she was the past. _This_ was my present... hopefully my future too.

Sydney smiled up at me warmley, clearly appreciating my words more than she would allow me to know. Before even half a minute had passed, the kissing resumed, getting hotter and heavier than ever. Something told me this was it, this was going to go far, this was going to-

"Whoaaa" came a voice from the doorway, "sorry..." I looked up, mortified. It was Eddie. Great... well at least it wasn't Gareth. If it had been I really _would _have hell to pay, hell in the form of never ending teasing. I quickly jumped up, grabbing my shirt as I did. Sydney looked like she would just about die of embaressment there and then, covering her face with her hands.

"What's up?" I asked Eddie, still internally cringing. Despite just walking in on what could possibly have turned into a sex scene, Eddie looked like he'd just come back from a funeral. That couldn't be good. Sydney sat up and straightened herself out, ready to listen too, doing her best to hide her ever increasing blush. Eddie looked solemn, delivering his next words in the most depressing voice I'd ever heard him use.

"You'll never guess what I just heard..."

* * *

><p>hahahaaaa! Sorry that was evil of me... ah well!<p>

xx


	9. The Breakdown

**Don't be Scared Little Alchemist**

Okay people, depending on when you began reading this, you're gonna have read different dates for Rose and Dimitri's wedding... cause I went back and changed it multiple times. It's a pretty long story that I can't really be bothered to tell, but just to clear things up- **the wedding is on June 1st and is 3 and a bit months from the the day Rose and Lissa first visited** (and I swear on my cat's life that I won't change it again... and I REALLY love my cat!). Anyhow... chapter 9!

Chapter 9

Without a single word of protest, Sydney and I followed Eddie downstairs. He'd beckoned for us to follow him without any further infromation, something he only tended to do when something was particularly serious. As much as I wished I could apply myself to the situation, I was still reeling from what'd just happened with Sydney, imagining what it would've been like if it'd gotten any further. It was amazing, just having her so close to me for so long, neither of us holding anything back... if that girl could drive me _that_ crazy by just a little kissing and touching, I couldn't even _begin_ to imagine what sex with her would be like...

"Dimitri?"

It was the voice of the very girl I'd just been thinking about that snapped me back into reality. Without really paying attention, I'd followed Eddie into the living room where I was now face to face with the man who'd taken my first true love away from me. He stood just as tall and confident as I remembered him, though there was an obvious twinge of hurt in his aura. The guy towered above me- and that was really saying something since _I_ was tall- and he wore his hair loose in the messy style that Rose loved so much. Just seeing him pained me... I didn't know what to make of this, I really didn't.

Part of me- probably a spirit fueled part- wanted to walk right up to him and punch him straight in the face... hopefully breaking his nose in the process. He wouldn't be so pretty then now would he? Of course, the reasonable part of me- the part that seemed to be getting smaller and smaller, less and less powerful with each passing day- told me it wasn't worth it. Even if it _was_ worth it, what could I have done against such a fantasitc guardian? I hated him, but I had to admit- the guy was totally badass in battle mode.

Honestly, I had nothing to say to him, but by the look on his face he had something to say to me, though I doubted it was about our love lives.

"Sydney, Adrian" he greeted in response, that accent that girls found so drop dead sexy for whatever reason even stronger than I'd remembered. He gestured for Sydney and I to sit down on the couch opposite him- as if I had to be invited to sit in my own home- and we did as he asked, sitting close together with our hands intertwined. I could really get used to this...

"I'm afraid I have some bad news" continued Dimitri. No shit! Why else would he have the nerve to come to my house? "It's Lissa."

My heart dropped, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My hateful glare directed towards the man before me changed rapidly into an expression of shock and worry and I couldn't help but clutch onto Sydney's hand just that little bit tighter. She'd been getting better, she was back on her medication... I'd been so sure she'd be okay! My mind spun out of control, unintentionally imagining all the worst case scenarios of what could've happened to the girl I considered my sister. She could've cut herself badly again... maybe it was even _worse_ this time. Maybe she'd harmed someone else... no she'd never do that... but then again there was that time with that Jesse Zeklos kid back at the Academy. Maybe... I didn't want to think about it. Surely she couldn't be dead. That sort of thing just didn't happen to such wonderful people. It just _can't_.

"She attempted suicide."

If my heart had dropped before, it'd now sunk so low that it'd fallen out of my chest entirely and was now laying on the ground, dying slowly and painfully in a pool of it's own blood. He'd said 'attempted' right? There was still hope.

"She's okay" confirmed Eddie, who I assumed had been filled in on all the details earlier. Relief filled my body, a weight lifting off of my shoulders and allowing my heart to jump right back into it's proper place. "She's in the hospital at court with Rose and Christian. The doctors say she'll be okay, but she's gonna have some pretty awful scars." Scars? I thought I'd pretty much figured out what'd happened, but I didn't just want to jump to conclusions. Grudgingly, I spoke directly to Dimitri, carefully hiding any hatred for him that might be showing in my eyes.

"How come?" I asked him, sounding like a clueless child. "What happened?" He sighed deeply, clearly not wanting to relive it- after all, he cared about Lissa as much as I did. I just seemed to forget that sometimes considering that in my mind the guy was pretty much evil incarnate.

"It was a mixture of things, she must've been pretty desperate" he began, not quite meeting my eyes. I could only assume it was because he knew I hadn't forgiven him. I _never_ would. "She tried to cut herself again to start with, but then resorted to overdosing on her medication. The combination could easily have killed her, she's lucky I found her when I did..." He trailed off once again. It suddenly hit me how well he was handeling all of this- _he'd _been the one who'd found her practically dead. If I'd been in his position I would've freaked, but Dimitri being Dimitri, it was inevitable that he'd handled it with perfect composure and efficiency. Some people were just _too_ perfect weren't they?

For a while we sat in comfortable silence, all of us just taking in what we'd just heard. I took this time to sneak in a quick glance at Sydney and noticed that she actually looked genuinely upset. Sydney Sage- concerned about an evil, unnatural bloodsucking creature of death that wasn't her boyfriend? Remarkable. A true sign of progress towards breaking out of her 'anti-vampire' shell.

"Anyway" Dimitri finally spoke up, "Rose just wanted to let you know so that you can go visit Lissa at some point. I'm sure she'd really appreciate it." Hearing Rose's name escape his lips- the lips said girl had kissed far to many times for my liking- actually didn't make me feel as sick as I thought it would. In a way, the casual fashion in which he spoke her name just sounded right and natural, like despite all my hatred towards him they might actually belong together. I guess I was finally on my way to accepting it. "I better get back" he continued as he headed towards the door. Suddenly, he jumped a little as though remembering something ,and sure enough, he spun around and reached into his pocket, producing a wedding invitation identical to the ones Eddie and I had recieved a few days back. "This is for you, Sydney" he explained, "we hope to see you there." With a few more goodbyes, he left the house. Good. It was way too weird having the person I'd spent the last year resenting with all my heart on my property.

Eddie and Gareth got up and left the living room- muttering something about going to call the hospital to check visiting hours- and left me alone with Sydney. She didn't appear to notice their absence, far too engrossed in reading her wedding invitation.

"Surely it can't be that interesting" I teased, leaning towards her to get a better look. To say the least- there was far more written on her invite than their had been on mine! Underneath all the standard wedding details was a little note, in Rose's handwriting rather than computer printed like the rest of it.

_Sydney,_

_I send you my deepest apologies for how I've acted towards you recently. Leaving you there in that hotel like that was unforgivable and I still feel terrible about it to this day. It was selfish- especially after everything you've done for me. You helped me find the Belikov's in Russia, you indirectly introduced me to my father and you risked your job **and** your life to help me and Dimitri when we were on the run. I can't thank you enough for any of that stuff but mostly- thank you for being my friend. You've always been there when I needed you and I never did the same in return. I know how much trouble I caused you and how you may not like 'my kind', but it's been killing me not having you around this past year. I want you to be a bridesmade at my wedding, you're one of the only people I know that deserves it... I really hope you can forgive me. I hope you can make it._

_Best wishes,  
><em>_Rose_

A small smile crept onto Sydney's face as she read it, clearly happy to finally get an apology from her. Whether she'd ever admit it in a million years or not, she considered Rose one of best friends- perhaps her _only_ best friend. However, despite how much I loved to see Sydney happy, I couldn't help but feel a little resentment towards the note- where was _my _apology? Sure, Rose had hurt Sydney, but she'd near enough _killed_ me and she'd just turned up on my doorstep as though she'd never done anything wrong. Proves how much I ever really meant to her... It made me wonder how much she lied to me, how much she actually felt for me. Had she ever really loved me? Probably not. In fact, I was probably just some pathetic distraction she just used to get her mind off of her Strigoi ex.

I could feel the darkness building up inside me, threatening to burst out at any second in an untamed fit of rage. I was suddenly reminded that I was completely sober... never a good thing in these situations. "I'll... uhh.. be right back" I said frantically, feeling myself losing it already. I left Sydney standing there, staring after me, as I quite literally ran to the kitchen and started raiding the cupboards for alcohol. Clearly it _really _wasn't my day today as there didn't appear to be any in the entire house. It looked like I was just gonna have to accept my 'crazy' until I could get some. Fuck my life.

"Where's the freaking booze!" I half shouted at my guardians who were calmly sitting at the table flicking through sports magazines throughout my entire ordeal. Gareth went to answer but right at that moment, Sydney appeared in the doorway. Oh no. No, no, no! She wasn't going to see me like this- not now not ever. She wasn't going to watch me break down at the lack of drink like a raging alcoholic and she wasn't going to be around when my crazy rambling started. She'd be scared off for life.

"Sydney, please" I began, "just go. You don't wanna see this trust me." Despite my words she stood her ground- quite literally- she never moved a single muscle. Gareth took this as his opportunity to say what he'd been about to before.

"_You_ drank it all, remember?" he asked accusingly, "maybe if you drank less we wouldn't have this problem." Now _really _wasn't a good time to get smug with me... the darkness increased again, my rage building further.

"Well sorry!" I retorted sarcastically, "I'll just march on over to the 'powers store' and exchange the ones I got sold against my will on the day I was born for some shiny new ones that don't make me crazy and suicidal. It really _is_ just that simple! You're right Gareth- this is all my choice. I'm just a pathetic, selfish little alcoholic that just drinks for the hell of it. I enjoy having to be drunk to be sane- I mean, it's just the greatest feeling in the world when I'm sober like right now and I can barely string a sentence together because I've been completely shut out of my own head! In fact... this isn't even Adrian talking to you right now, this is spirit! 'Hi guys! Nice to see you I haven't seen you in _ages_! Adrians been doing such a good job of keeping me away with all that drinking you hate so much, but don't worry 'cause I'm back now! Never let the silly boy drink or smoke ever again! Lock him up away from all of his vices and let me finish him off!'"

I was _completely _aware how crazy I sounded, but I just couldn't stop. It was terrifying when I got like this- more so to me than to anyone else. Eddie and Gareth kept their perfect guardian composure as always, not wanting to say anything else that might trigger and even worse reaction. Sydney- to my surprise- was walking closer towards me rather than retreating.

"Don't" I said, my voice coming out so low that it could've easily been mistaken for a growl. This really felt like one of those annoying, cliché moments in modern vampire fiction where the guy decides he's 'too dangerous for the girl to be around'. On the bright side- when those moments happen, it's almost certain that they'll work it out and end up together in the end. "I don't wanna hurt you but I get the feeling the spirit probably does..." Well that was step one of getting back to normal, I guess. At least I wasn't talking like I was possessed anymore, I was acting like I had two personalities. Not much better actually.

"No" she responded, her voice shakey but still determined, "you won't give in to it." Oh, why didn't she get it? I suppose she was only human after all, she had no idea what it was like to have spirit, it was more like a mental disorder than a power.

"Hang on a second" said Eddie, standing up and approaching me. "I'll run down to the shop and get some drink." He gave me a second glace, assessing how unstable I was. "I better get some cigarettes too for good measure."

"Hurry" Gareth replied as Eddie left. Gareth gestured for Sydney to take a seat at the table and then flung his arm around me. "You okay?" he asked, noticing that I'd calmed down considerably. Don't get me wrong- the darkness was still there- I just didn't have so much reason to be angry anymore. I shrugged my shoulders as my only response and allowed him to lead me out of the kitchen, away from the place where I'd just had one of the worst breakdowns of my life, but more importantly away from Sydney. I couldn't be near her when I was like this, it was too risky. Who knew what I was capable of? I didn't even know, I usually managed to intoxicate myself before I got this bad.

I sat in front of the TV, blankly watching the changing images but not taking in any of it. Gareth went back out to the kitchen to talk to Sydney (or so he said. He was probably scared of me, I would be if I was him!) and left me alone with my thoughts. Thankfully, I didn't have to wait too long before Eddie returned with my saving grace in his hands.

"THANKYOU!" I practically screamed, jumping up and snatching up what he held, opening a bottle of alcohol as fast as I could manage. I gulped the liquid down faster and more greedily than ever before, feeling spirits effects ease up a little. Eddie left the rest of the stuff with me and left me to my over-indulging... Gosh I was such a wreck...

* * *

><p>It was about half an hour later when I deemed myself sane (as sane as you can be when your drunk) enough to go and talk to Sydney. She needed an explaination, one that came from me, not the one my guardians had undoubtably told her. They would've written it off as nothing, 'just a side effect, perfectly normal, nothing to worry about', but by telling her that they would've been doubting her intelligence. It wasn't so long ago that I'd told her just how spirit felt and she'd just witnessed it for herself...<p>

I wandered outside onto the back deck where she was sitting in a wooden chair, staring up at the stars. She seemed to have a facination with the night sky, I made a mental note to ask her about it later. She spun around when she heard the door open and showed what looked like a sympathetic smile when she saw me.

"How're you doing?" she asked, making a small gesture to the chair beside her, indicating for me to sit down. I sat beside her in silence, not feeling the need to answer. She already knew what I was going to say. She always did. "What was that all about back there?" she continued, "I mean, I get that it was all because of spirit, but what triggered it exactly? You were fine and then you were..." She trailed off, clearly not wanting to finish her sentence with something along the lines of the word 'crazy'. "Not" she finished.

I sighed deeply before explaining. "It doesn't take a lot really. I was sober- that's when it's worst. I got angry 'cause Rose apologised to you and not me and then spirit just blew everything way out of proportion and I turned into some alcoholic psycopath." I noticed her expression change a little, a bit of hurt showing. I realised suddenly that after what'd happened up in my room earlier, she'd probably figured that Rose was finally out of the equation. Thing is, from what she'd told me in the past she actually seemed to be okay with the fact that I wasn't completely over Rose yet and she really shouldn't have to be. Honestly, it was selfish of me to let her feel that way, but despite the fact we'd only been hanging out for a little while, I couldn't imagine my life without her anymore.

"Hey" I said softly, looking her directly in the eyes and pushing as much seriousness into my voice as I could in my half drunken state. "I was just mad that she didn't give an apology because she _really_ owes me one... nothing more than that." I took a deep breath before carrying on. "Since Rose I've been a mess" I admitted, "I haven't wanted to let people in because I've been so scared that they'll do what she did to me. I tried a few casual dates, but they didn't feel right. Nothing did without her... my gosh...if you'd known me before I met her you would never have believed I was capable of so much emotion!" She giggled a little and allowed me to continue. "I thought I'd be alone forever" I said, the sadness in my eyes probably more obvious than a bright neon sign on a dull brick wall. "Then I met you." Yes, my earlier thoughts were officially confirmed. I was a living, breathing vampire cliché.

The girl before me appeared to freeze with a mixture of shock and affection... as weird as that might sound I promise you it was romantic at the time! She didn't seem like she was going to come out with any massive speech any time soon so I decided I'd just pick up where I left off, letting my heart out of the cage I'd locked it up in since It'd been broken, little piece by little piece.

"You were different" I said, not failing to notice that my voice was cracking up a little, not as if I was going to cry but as though it was somehow hard for me to talk about. I guess it was. It was the first time in a long time that I'd shown this level of emotion. "You didn't care about how royal I was, what family I was from... you just saw me. No one ever sees that, no one bothers to these days. You get me like no one else does. I hate to quote Rose but you 'balance me'... she said I'd find someone who did that one day..." Sydney didn't say anything, but her aura glowed almost blindingly bright. I knew what that meant now... it meant love. It should've been obvious when I first saw it on Rose and Dimitri, but it'd only just fully clicked in my mind. I was slow like that sometimes!

Despite everything I'd just told her, I wasn't sure if I was ready for any 'I love you's'... it just wouldn't feel right at that moment, not when Rose still plagued a part of my mind. It wouldn't have been fair to Sydney to say she was the only one I wanted when I still wasn't sure of it myself, when her feelings would be sincere and mine wouldn't. I really hated myself for that...

"But you've seen the real me" I continued, "you've seen what I'm like when I'm not medicated. I'm insane... I _hate _it."

"You're not insane" she replied, "you can't help it, I get that. I'll admit I was pretty scared back there but for once it wasn't because I was afriad of _you_... I was scared _for_ you. I was worried."

"Wow" I chuckled, "never thought I'd see the day. You seemed pretty concerned about Lissa back there too... am I going crazy- crazier I mean- or are you warming up to us vampires?"

"Like you said" she replied, "I don't have to be afriad of you or your friends. I trust you now, and so I guess I have to trust them too." Weird how that line I said seemed to stick with her...

"I do _not_ believe it!" I joked. "Sydney Sage trusts vampires? No way." What she said next made the butterflys in my stomach go completely hyper. It was a perfect recreation of what I'd said to her back in the park.

"Need convincing?" she asked seductively, standing up and moving so she was in front of me.

"Nope" I shrugged, "but I'll kiss you anyway." With that, I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her into my lap, pressing my lips to her neck before going in for a proper kiss. Something about the feeling of her lips on mine set my entire body on fire. It made me lose control, possibly even more than spirit did... actually no. Spirit topped _everything _in the field of 'ways to make Adrian lose his mind', but kissing Sydney was a close second. I pulled her closer and closer to me, her body warm against the chilly night air. She locked her arms around me, trapping me where I was, making me feel like there was nothing left in the entire world except for me and her in this moment. In the little world we'd created, there wasn't any such thing as spirit, my best friend hadn't almost died and my guardians weren't in the house behind us, looking out the window incase Strigoi decided to come and steal us off of the deck. I wished so badly that they weren't looking... oh, the things I would do right now if we were alone.

Sydney was intoxicating, perhaps more so than the alcohol I craved so badly. In fact, in a way she worked the same, she helped me keep spirit a little more in control than I could manage on my own... as much as I hated to admit it, no one had ever made me feel quite like this before. Not even Rose.

* * *

><p>Okay, the story picks up more next chapter, promise ;)<p>

xxx


	10. The Heart

**Don't be Scared Little Alchemist**

My deepest, most sincere apologies for the lateness of this chapter! I've had the most chaotic few months...

Chapter 10

I trapsed down the dingy corridors of the Royal Courts hospital wing followed closely by Eddie and Gareth. It was the day after my little breakdown and I was still feeling a little on edge but I was far too determined to check in on Lissa to worry about it too much. Part of me couldn't wait to see her, to be able to throw my arms around her, comfort her and tell her everything was going to be okay... but another part of me dreaded seeing what sort of state she might be in. How badly had she cut herself this time? I wasn't sure I really wanted to know.

It was a shame Sydney wasn't there- her presence would at least provide me with comfort- but of course, taking an Alchemist into 'vampire territory' probably wasn't the brightest idea... not that I didn't try it. Not too shockingly, when I asked her to go with me I got the perfect Sydney-esque response of 'not even in your dreams' which obviously lead on to a joke/ threat about how our next spirit dream would be at the Royal Court. I don't think she knows spirit dreams can only include me and the dreamer (crazy since she seems to know just about everything else in the whole world).

After what seemed like forever, we finally reached Lissa's room. The doctor mumbled something about when visiting times ended but I had to hope Eddie and Gareth were paying attention because I'd all but completely zoned out. I cautiously approached the door, my hand reaching out for the handle so slowley it was if I thought it was about to jump up and bite me.

"Dude. Some time before we're eighty would be nice" came the teasing voice of Gareth from over my shoulder. Usually I didn't mind bantering with him- it was just how our disfunctional friendship seemed to work... but just not today. Not when one of my best friends of all time was in the next room, suffering the damage she'd caused herself... all because of the powers that I also possessed. Again, this combined with my recent breakdown made me wonder how much time I had left until I ended up here too... or worse.

Swallowing down my fear, I finally turned the handle and opened the door. As selfish as it might seem, it wasn't Lissa herself that caught my eye, it was her company. Of course, Christian was there- they'd been dating for goodness knows how long now- and where Christian was, Dimitri followed. Dispite only seeing him a day ago, my anger flared up suprisingly quickly, every inch of my body burning with hatred for him. I would've blamed it on the fact that I'd stupidly let myself get completely sober if it hadn't been for who was sitting next to him, holding his hand lovingly. Rose.

It was the first time I'd seen them together in more than a year and I guess I'd forgotton how much it hurt me... but this time something was different. Usually, I hated seeing them together because Rose was- in my eyes- 'the one', 'my other half', 'Miss right' and all that jazz. This time, I didn't feel that at all. As realisation hit me, I actually managed to shock myself even more than I had when I managed to do a backflip in sixth grade to impress some girl I had a crush on, and trust me- that was pretty darn shocking! Looking at the couple, I didn't feel my usual desire to beat the living daylights out of Dimitri, grab Rose and ride off into the sunset on a white horse. Cheesy I know. But no, that urge was long gone.

Looking at them now, all I felt was anger. Anger for what they did to me, what they put me through and how they didn't seem to give a damn about it. Right before my eyes where the two people who had shamelessly plunged me into the deepest, darkest period of my entire life... what reason did I have _not_ to be mad? Of course, spirit wasn't helping the situation any. In fact, if I'd been drinking today or even better- I had a normal, sane power, I wouldn't be feeling half as bad. In fact, I probably would't even be angry, most people- normal people- can let things like this go. Not me. I could practically feel myself slipping further and further into insanity by the second...

Finally, I tore my eyes away from the couple and focused on Lissa. All my previous thoughts suddenly vanished and my mood switched from angry to distraught faster than I ever thought possible. I felt awful for not noticing her the moment I stepped into the room. She was pale, even for a Moroi. It made her look unnatural, sickly... practically dead. Thankfully, her wounds were all tightly bandaged up... but oh man there were a lot of bandages, some of which looked like they needed changing as the blood was beginning to seep through. A few scratches were visible on her face where it looked like she'd clawed at herself with her nails out of pure frustration and she still looked a little dazed and sick, probably still recovering from the effects of the overdose.

Upon seeing me she gave a weak smile in my direction, causing her three companions to turn to face me.

"Adrian" greeted Rose, her face alight with the beautiful smile I remembered so well. "Thank you for coming". From the sound of her voice I could feel as though she genuinely meant it. Then, to my utmost shock she crossed the room and gently, almost hesitantly, wrapped her arms around me. Again, this close contact didn't feel anything like it used to. My skin didn't tingle, my heart didn't melt... nothing happened. And in a way that scared me. I was changing, my emotions weren't like they used to be, my mind wasn't in the same place it had been in a year ago. Rose didn't hold my heart anymore, it was all mine, free to be given to whoever I wanted. What scared me even more is that I already had someone in mind.

"I've been so worried" Rose whispered in my ear, "you have no idea how glad we are that you came. You can sypathise with her, understand what she's going through and help her out..." Something about how she spoke just screamed desperate- like I was the only hope left. Fair enough- I'd talked Lissa back down to earth the last time something like this had happened, but if that'd worked in the long run then it wouldn't have happened again. Her eyes searched mine, frantically looking for signs of agreement. She looked so helpless- something I knew from experience that she hated. My anger towards her dimming down significantly, I pulled her closer to me once again and whispered "I can try." It was honestly the most I could do or say at that point.

We made our way back over to Lissa's bedside, followed by Eddie and Gareth. I took a seat next to Christian and looked up into the hazy eyes of the girl before us.

"Hey Liss" I greeted, "how're you feeling?" My tone was warm, comforting, concerned... I was just so worried about her. It was the sort of compassion I rarely felt, but for Lissa? How could I not feel it?

"A bit better than yesterday" she replied with a slight shrug. Her eyes told a different story entirely, as though she was dying to tell me something. Christian, sitting next to me, seemed to get the hint and stood up.

"Why don't we let Liss and Adrian talk in private" he suggested, trying to get the others to catch on. They soon followed him out of the room, leaving me and Lissa alone to talk through whatever was going on in her head. Déjà vu or what?

"Okay, Lissa" I began, "whatever's on your mind, just tell me. I won't judge you." She took a moment to assess me to see if I really meant what I said- which of course I did. Back in the old days she would've trusted me instantly, opened up to me without a second thought. It just went to show how unstable she was becoming.

"Okay" she finally agreed, nodding her head. "Basically... I think this is just the beginning of the end." Her voice was so small, so scared that it made my blood run cold.

"What do you mean?" I asked, in two minds about whether or not I actually wanted an answer.

"I don't... I don't think I can control it much longer, Spirit" she began. "It's like it's finally got a hold on me... if I take the anti-depressants it just fights back even stronger because I'm not using it... I can't stand it any more... I just want all this to end." I sincerely hoped that 'all this' didn't mean her life, but I didn't dare to press on the subject.

"I feel like that sometimes" I told her, "yesterday I completely flipped out for no apparent reason in front of my _human_ girlfriend... you can't even imagine how much I terrified her. But you know what? I came out of it, I let her help me, along with Eddie and Gareth... you can't expect to deal with this on your own Liss."

"I don't!" she countered, "I have Christian and Rose and Dimitri and all my guardians and staff at court... they try to help but they just can't. Only you seem to understand me." In a way I was flattered, but part of me knew it wasn't a good thing that I was the only one Lissa felt she could really turn to. It wasn't healthy for her.

"Well then Liss... call me when you feel down, okay? Any time you need to- even in the middle of the night. I don't want this to get to you like it has been lately... you'll be okay, I promise." My reasoning didn't seem to be working... and that's when I remembered it- I knew how she could get rid of spirit forever. Power Surrender. Honestly, I was still on the fence about the whole idea and the fact that it seemed to worry Sydney wasn't a good sign. The girl was _very_ smart after all, going against her thoughts on the subject would probably earn me a one way ticket to I-ruined-my-lifesville and I'd drag Lissa down with me. No, I wasn't ready to tell her about it yet, I wasn't about to-

"What?" came a sweet little voice from beside me, "what are you thinking about?" I should've known better than to stare off into space in the presence of Lissa, she could read me like a book.

"Um... uh... nothing really..." I lied, not so smoothley. Aside from my obvious stuttering, my eyes gave everything away.

"It's not nothing" she insisted, "I can tell... what is it?"

"Uh... I think it's best you don't know..."

"Adrian! Tell!" she was perstistant wasn't she? "That's an order... and that's not a joke!"

"I don't take orders."

"Even from the Queen?" Damn... sometimes I forgot Lissa's position. There really wasn't any arguing with a Queens orders, although I highly doubted she'd actually do anything if I disobayed. She seemed to take my brief silence as acceptance of her command.

"Thank you" she said pleasently, "now, because I'm feeling nice I thought we could exchange information rather than you just telling me... I know something you might want to hear..." My interest suddenly sparked up- what could Lissa possibly know that I didn't? Well... actually as the Queen she probably knew _a lot_ of things I didn't but that was besides the point. Let me re-phrase that- what could Lissa possibly know that I didn't that involved me enough for her to tell me?

"Go on..." I said, curious to know.

"I've been talking to Eddie recently" she began, "he told me you keep getting sucked into Sydney's dreams without a choice."

"Yeah, that's been happening for a while..." I replied. Suddenly, I caught on- I had to give myself credit, I did it quicker than I usually would! "Wait!" I exclaimed, "you know why it's happening don't you!" It wasn't a question. I _knew_ she did. Lissa shot me a knowing look.

"So we trade information?" she asked, although by now she probably knew the answer. I'd been desperate to find out why the dream thing kept happening... but was it really worth telling her about Power Surrender? I decided it was... I mean I wasn't forcing her to go through with it, I was merely giving it to her as an option. To be honest, in her position I would consider it without a doubt.

"Sure" I agreed.

"You go first."

"Okay then" I began, "basically, Sydney and I did some digging into some old books about magic and we found something pretty cool... apparently, there's a way to give up your powers for good." As soon as the words left my mouth, Lissa's eyes lit up in wonder. I could see how badly she wanted it already and I'd barely begun to explain it yet. For all she knew it involved some horribly painful, deadly process, yet she still looked as though nothing in the world would hold her back from it. I'd feared this would happen, but a deal was a deal and I wasn't the kind of guy to break promises... especially ones made to the leader of the Moroi! Despite the nagging voice in the back of my mind telling me that all of this was a bad idea, I proceeded to tell her everything I knew about Power Surrender.

"But Liss... it's _very_ risky" I finally finished. The whole way through my explaination, she'd hung off of my every word, absorbing everything with unflinching focus.

"I know, I get it" she replied, "but at least it's an option."

"It's a last resort" I corrected her, "I don't want you risking your life with this."

"What've I got to lose?" The way she asked it and the way she stared at me made me fully realise how she truley believed she had nothing to live for... perhaps even accepted that pretty soon she was likely to die.

"Lots" I told her, my voice a firm whisper. We sat in an understanding silence for a while, taking in the seriousness of the moment, before Lissa spoke up.

"Okay, do you wanna hear about the dreams then?" she asked, far more lighthearted than she'd been a few moments ago.

"Go for it" I replied, finally gaining some of my trademark cockiness back into my tone. Her bright green eyes sparkled, she was clearly excited about the news.

"I can't believe you haven't figured it out yet" she giggled.

"Ohh just hurry up and tell me!" I teased her in reply, "you know I hate suspense... it's so cheesy and melodramatic."

"Okay... Adrian Ivashkov... are you ready... to hear the answer... to your burning question... about-"

"Stop that!" I interrupted, trying my best not to show that this waiting was genuinelly starting to get on my nerves.

"Okay, okay" she surrendered. "You get pulled into Sydney's dreams because you're in love with her. Simple."

Whatever answer I'd been preparing myself for, it sure as hell hadn't been that. I was completely taken aback... or was I? Hadn't I always known this? Hadn't she made me feel happy to an extent that even Rose couldn't achieve? Hadn't I felt like nothing in the world was more beautiful than her pale skin, brown eyes and golden hair and that surely- _surely- _nothing in the whole world could be more perfect than kissing her, holding her in my arms? I've said it before and I'll say it again- she balanced me. Perfectly. Just like Rose had said my perfect girl would do when I met her. I have to say I met her a hell of a lot quicker than I'd expected to.

"How do you know?" I asked Lissa, wondering how exactly she got this information when I couldn't find it.

"It happens to me" she explained, "with Christian. I'm not the greatest at walking dreams but occasionally I can manage it. Sometimes though, I just fall asleep and get pulled into Christians head. I went and asked Sonya Karp and she said it happens with her and Mikhail too... It just seems logical." It all seemed reliable, but one thing still didn't fit.

"So how come it never happened with Rose?" I asked, although I pretty much knew what she was going to say. At this point, I knew she was right.

"Because you were never really in love with her" she replied. Exactly as I thought. "I mean, you _loved _her... but there's a difference between loving someone and being _in_ love with someone, if you get what I mean. I _loved_ Aaron when I was with him... but I'm _in_ love with Christian. When you're in love with someone, there's rarely any going back. Even if you fight and drift apart, you'll always find each other again. You and Rose loved each other, but when it came down to it, you were meant for other people. It works that way sometimes. It hurts but it's just the way it is. You go into Sydney's dreams because you're so in sync with each other that it's as if your minds are physically linked- like an invisible bond... just not the kind Rose and I had, of course."

I sat in silence for a while, coming to terms with everything she'd said. Every single word that'd escaped her lips was absolutely, positively, one hundred percent right.

"And" she spoke up again, "call me crazy... but I think she's 'the one' Adrian." How Lissa could assume that when she'd never properly met Sydney was beyond me, but still... I believed her.

* * *

><p>After me and Lissa had chatted for a little bit longer, everyone else returned. The conversation and the company was good, I had to admit, even with Rose and Dimitri sat together, passing the occasional loving glance. After my talk with Lissa, their relationship bothered me a whole lot less and I was even beginning to accept it. Wow... never thought I'd see the day.<p>

When visiting hours were over, everybody said goodbye and get well to the battered, blonde Moroi Queen and exited the room. I was about to leave the hospital wing when I felt a strong, powerful hand drag me to one side. Dimitri. Eddie and Gareth- noticing my sudden absence- turned around to face me with worry. I know guardians are meant to be extra cautious and all, but really- what's the worst that can happen to a guy in the most protected building in the world? Nothing- absolutely nothing.

"You guys go on, I'll catch up in a sec" I told them, ushering for them to go. I had no idea what the girlfriend- stealing Russian badass wanted, but I had a feeling it was probably private... or he was gonna beat the crap out of me for lusting after his woman for the past year... okay the second one wasn't likely but I wasn't taking any chances with the guy!

"Umm... hi?" I began awkwardly, making it sound a whole lot more like a question than a greeting. He looked like he was physically swallowing down his pride before he spoke up.

"I'm sorry" he stated, looking sincerely into my eyes. I was so confused it was unreal.

"For...?"

"Everything" he explained, "for being the man Rose cheated on you with, for taking her away from you... for acting like I didn't care about any of it. I always liked you, Adrian, I respect you... I felt awful about the affair, honestly. Right before Rose and I slept together... I told her no. I told her I wouldn't take her from you, that you were waiting for her to come back to you and that I wouldn't get between you... but my love for her overpowered all reasoning, you have to understand. I never meant to hurt you."

Of all the shocking thing's I'd heard today, this one really took the cake! Dimitri Belikov... apologising. I'd waited what seemed like eternity for this day (or the day I successfully overpowered him and won Rose back, but that was out of the question now), but now it'd come it wasn't half as satisfying as I thought it would be. I couldn't believe my next words.

"Don't worry, dude. I forgive you" I assured him, "actually, I've recently discovered that I'm pretty greatfull! If you hadn't done what you did I would never've found the right girl."

"Sydney?" he asked. The man caught on quickly...

"Yeah..." I suddenly remembered that she and Dimitri had been very close when they were on the run together and an idea formed in my mind. A crazy idea, yes, but a good one none the less... hey that rhymed! "You wouldn't happen to know where she lives would you?" I felt a little stupid admitting that I didn't know where my own girlfriend lived, but I wouldn't ever know if I didn't ask.

"Technically she lives in another state but right now she's stationed pretty near to your house" he explained, "I can give you the address if you want it."

"Please" I replied and allowed him to scribble it down for me. I had to go to her, find her... confess all my feelings. And I had to do it now...

* * *

><p>I couldn't believe the freedom I'd been given. Yes- it was broad daylight, but I was still beyond amazed that Eddie and Gareth had allowed me to drive over to Sydney's alone. Maybe they trusted me more or maybe they were just avoiding another argument or worse- following me and spying on me. None the less, this was something I had to do alone. It would hardly be romantic if we had supervisors.<p>

After only a short while of driving I pulled the car up outside of a nice, clean looking apartment building. Apartment 20B... Sydney's home... or at least where she lived for the moment. I didn't bother waiting for the elevator, instead I practically jogged up the stairs. The sunlight streaming in through the windows was beginning to take it's toll on me but I didn't let anything stop me. Oh the things I do for love...

Eventually I arrived at her apartment and knocked on the door. I was so nervous that my palms were sweating... wait, since when was I nervous? I was practically the King of staying calm and cool, but not today. In fact, not with Sydney. Really, the signs that I was in love with her were there from the very beginning... I was just too blind to see it, too caught up missing Rose to notice what was right infront of me, too-

"Hello" beamed the girl in question as she opened the door. She looked stunning, her golden locks worn wavy and loose and wearing a pretty little denim skirt and a three-quarter-length t-shirt. As I looked at her, I became even more convinced of my feelings for her. They built up more and more until they were so powerful it was as though they were about to burst out of me. I didn't wait for the formalities- I just freaking went for it.

"Sydney, I love you" I blurted out. That was it... my inner most thoughts and feelings exposed to the world in four quick words. For a second, her expression was unreadable. I took it as my chance to elaborate. "I've been thinking about it a lot lately and I think I've finally got my head straight" I explained, "I loved Rose, but I wasn't _in_ love with her.. she wasn't right for me and I'm finally over her. You're the only one I want. I don't care that you're human. I don't even care that you're an Alchemist, because I'm in love with you... all of you, with all of my heart..." It was silent for a moment, each of us staring at the other, before she spoke.

"Oh my gosh" she whispered, flinging her arms around me as tightly as she could muster. She didn't even need to answer right now, I wouldn't let her. I had to kiss her. I had to feel that golden, perfect sensation I felt every time our lips made contact. So I did it. I kissed her so deeply, with so much passion that I can't even describe it. In that moment, I didn't need words to know she felt the same, although hearing it would've just sealed the deal. Reluctantly, I pulled away, keeping her tightly in my arms.

"I love you too" she admitted, gazing up into my eyes with purpose and meaning. "Even if you _are_ an evil creature of the night... I don't care. I love _you_... it doesn't matter what you are." That was all I needed to hear.

Hastily, I ushered her inside her apartment and shut the door before I let the kissing resume. She was just as egar as I was, kissing me desperately and tugging at my shirt. I lifted my arms and allowed her to remove it, quickly and easily just as she had before. While still kissing me, she lead me out of the living room and into her bedroom. I briefly glanced around before flopping down onto the bed, bringing Sydney down on top of me. Needless to say, things heated up very _very_ quickly, though it seemed only _my_ clothes were coming off. When I was lead there in only my boxers I removed my mouth from hers.

"Come on!" I teased, gesturing to my exposed body, "this is hardly fair is it?" with a giggle she gave me a quick kiss on the lips before allowing me to remove her shirt... then her skirt... and the rest followed, as did my boxers. After kissing for a little while longer I flipped her over so that I was above her. I looked down at her, admiring how naturally beautiful she was, relishing in the fact that she was all mine.

"You _sure_ you wanna do this?" I asked. That really was new for me, usually I was the type of guy to just carry on anyway... but Sydney was different, more important than all the other girls I'd slept with. "Once you do this there's no going back... you're stuck with me."

"Good" she giggled, "maybe I wanna be stuck with you." As she gazed lovingly up into my eyes, I knew she wasn't lying and I knew Lissa was right. I'd made the right choice. I was completely and utterly head over heals in love with this girl.

I placed my lips back over hers and we picked up where we left off... the rest is history.

I gave her my heart.

* * *

><p>Once again... deepest apologies for the lateness! If it's any consolation, I stayed up untill 2am to finish this when I had to be up at 8am! That right there is my punishment.<p>

xx


	11. The Morning After

**Don't be Scared Little Alchemist**

Right then my dears. I'm exceptionally sorry about how late this is (again) but well... the world is a complicated and confusing place and for a while I felt like I'd lost myself... not gonna go into all that deep stuff but just know that I've been through some things just lately that's given me a bit more insight into romance, which is totally gonna help me write this :D

Also, many people think that the last chapter was a good place to end, but that wasn't my intention. Please don't think I'm just adding to this and dragging it out just for the sake of it, I planned it before I wrote it out and there were always meant to be more chapters. One last thing before I finally let you escape my rambling and read on- THANK YOU TO MY WONDERFUL READERS AND REVIEWERS! Thank's to you guys this is now my second most read and absolute first most reviewed story. I really can't thank you guys enough, you're what inspires me to keep on delving into the messed up mind of Adrian Ivashkov and writing this story. So thank you!

Oh and has anyone else here read Bloodlines? It was AWESOME =D

Anyway- on with the story! :D

Chapter 11:

I couldn't believe I was laying here- completely naked in bed- holding this angel in my arms. The streaks of sunlight coming in through the blinds lit up her messy golden hair, made it gleam, enhancing her perfection even further. I just couldn't believe she was mine, all mine, forever and ever. Unfortunately, I couldn't garuntee the last part- I just knew that if anything went wrong with us, she'd be the one leaving me. I'd never leave her... I couldn't anymore.

I watched her as she slept peacefully and I was sure I'd never seen anything so beautiful in my life. I'd slept with a lot of girls (and not a normal persons version of 'a lot'... I think it may almost have been hitting a hundered!) but none of them had been out of love. Before now, I'd never actually had sex with someone I loved- I'd never even been in love before. Not really. I hadn't known how much better it would be. It felt like we were making an actual emotional connection, not just doing it for the fun of it. It had purpose and meaning... it proved that I was in love with her.

I felt her stir slightly, her eyelids beginning to flutter open. When she'd regained conciousness she stared up at me and I instantly lost myself in the depths of her eyes... I'd always loved them. If the eyes were really the windows to your soul, then Sydney's soul had to be the most pure, beautiful soul in the whole world. She offered me a small smile which I soon covered with my lips. The kiss was so gentle that I was willing to bet she hardly felt it, but it was enough to show how I felt. Right now, she looked like the most delicate, gorgeous creature I'd ever seen, I felt like this was all too good to be true, that she'd shatter before my eyes or dissapear completely. She reached out and gently caressed my face, the simple touch sending shivers down my spine.

"Morning honey" I whispered, never tearing my eyes away from hers. I'd always wanted to say that. She smiled up at me again, this time leaning in to kiss me, more deeply than I had before. Fireworks. As always. There really was no other way to describe it.

"Morning" she replied before looking over at her bedside clock. "Wait... evening?"

"Morning for me at least" I chuckled, "you know- since I'm an evil creature of the night and all."

"Sorry about that by the way" Sydney giggled, "I don't mean it. I just... well I guess it's what I'm supposed to think, whether I actually believe it or not."

"You know, you don't have to live that way" I reasoned, "you can think for yourself." Beside me, she visibly sighed and shook her head in way which suggested I was too wrong for words to explain.

"I really can't" she replied, "some day you'll understand. Infact... while were on the subject. What just happened between us... well... you can't tell anyone it happened."

I was taken aback by her remark. Why would she want that? I was confused, a little bewildered... and I could feel spirit building up. Fuck. I could feel it inside me, seeping into my brain, filling every last inch of it with it's madness and lies. '_Take control Adrian_' I told myself '_this isn't you, don't let it win_'. But the terrifying truth was- it _was_ me. I was born with this... this 'creature' inside of me. This other personality. This dark side that cleverly disguised itself as a wonderful magical power. Immediately, I regretted not bringing some liquor or ciggarettes with me when I came to see Sydney. I needed them right now- so, so badly. If I hadn't been so painfully sober, the rant that burst out of me the next second would never have happened.

"Why?" I demanded, "why would you want to hide that from the world? Why would you want to pretend that we didn't just cheat the system and take a stand against all those who would shamelessly frown upon our love? Why would you deny making love to me? The smooth, green eyed gentleman whom most ladies would gladly consider a complete and utter sex god? That, my darling, is utterly insane."

I took a deep breath and attempted to calm myself, scanning Sydney's face to see what sort of horrified reaction would undoubtedly be crossing it- only it wasn't. Instead, showing no look of shock, horror or 'oh my gosh why is my boyfriend such a lunatic', she leaned forward and kissed me deeply. From the moment her lips made contact with mine it felt like my whole body was on fire, passion burned inside me killing off all the stress, madness and... the spirit.

Sydney's kiss was calming the spirit down...

I couldn't believe it, this had never happened before... and then it hit me. I'd never admitted to myself that I'd been in love with her before today. Love. That was it. I couldn't believe that it had taken me so long to have this revelation, not that I was exactly famous for being quick to catch on. All the times we'd spoken about Rose together and I hadn't broken out into insanity, my perfect little Alchemist had been there comforting me, holding my hand and making sure I knew I wasn't alone. When Dimitri had spoken to me privately- that guy usually _always _worked spirit up without fail- I could finally see his true love for Rose- not to mention how much he legitimately cared about _me_- shining through. I could see he was a good guy. Spirit calmed down.

Lissa... love could save her. Christian could save her- he just needed to realise that he could. Granted, I had no idea what she was like when she was alone with him, but I was willing to bet money that it wasn't as bad as she was with the rest of us. I breathed a sigh of relief as I realised the best thing about all of this- she would no longer need power surrender. So many worries just flew away from me at once, I felt like I was walking on air- trouble free and still wrapped up in my gorgeous girlfriends passionate kiss.

When Sydney pulled away, her eyes searched me intently, searching for any lingering signs of madness. Instead all she saw was me displaying the most goofy smile I'd ever dared to show in my life- it was a far cry from my trademark 'I'm Adrian Ivashkov and I'm the hottest thing alive' smile.

"What's got you so happy?" asked the Alchemist, breaking out into a smile of her own. Such a pretty, pretty smile.

"You" I responded, kissing her gently on the forehead, "you're beautiful- did you know that? So, so very beautiful. You're perfect, you complete me... if you left me I'd die." Yes- I was fully aware that I was rambling, but this time spirit had nothing to do with it. I was just pouring out the contents of my heart. "Sydney Sage- I love you. You have all of my heart, you deserve it because you fixed it after it had been broken to a point where I thought it was beyond repair. I know it took me a long time to realise it, but don't worry because I'm never going to forget it. You're the only one I've ever loved. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel second best to Rose, I was living in the past so much that I couldn't put myself into the present and see what was right infront of me. You-"

Before I could utter another cheesy line, Sydney's lips were pressed firmly against mine, displaying far more emotion than could be convayed in words. In that single kiss, I knew that she felt the same way. I could safely say I had never been so happy in my life. I just wanted that one, perfect moment to last forev-

*knock knock*

You have got to be kidding me.

We both jumped up from the bed and proceeded to search the floor for our clothes which had been flung off in the heat of the moment. I dressed far quicker than Sydney and headed for the door.

"Wait!" she shouted after me. I turned on my heels abruptly and stared into her deep brown eyes, filled with worry. "Check through the peep hole before you answer the door, if it's the Alchemists I'm _doomed_ if they catch you here." So this is what my earlier freak out session had been over. The Alchemists. I suppose it made perfect sense. They were a bunch of vampire haters, the lot of them- Sydney excluded. The fact of the matter was- if she was caught with me, she'd be in a hell of a lot of trouble- trouble in the form of a re-education centre. It struck me then how much danger I was putting her in by being with her, how much she must love me to risk such a terrible fate just to be with some cocky, flirty party boy. I'd have to bring all of this up with her later, but for now I found the strength to push it to the back of my mind. I went over to the door and looked through the peep hole just as she had asked me to. Well- it sure as _hell _wasn't an Alchemist. I swung the door open.

"Rose?" I said, staring down at the girl before me in disbelief. "What're you doing here?"

She didn't even give me the satifaction of getting an answer. She just went straight in for the kill- typical Rose behavior.

"Power Surrender? Really?" she barked while advancing on me, walking into the apartment uninvited. "What were you thinking?" Not gonna lie here- Rose was like evil incarnate when she was mad and I couldn't help but find myself physically shaking in her angry presence. Great one Adrain, cowering in the face of your former love, that's gonna earn you major 'cool points'. Or not.

"At the time I was thinking 'I want to know about being sucked into spirit dreams so I better trade off some information'" I admitted, awkwardly but honestly, closing the door behind the fuming brunette. "But- in hindsight- that was a _terrible_ idea. But it's okay! I've thought up another solution!"

"Too late Ivashkov" argued Rose, pushing me down onto one of the sofas and taking a seat opposite. "She's going through with the ritual and you're helping her. Her decision's final. It's a royal order. No going back now." Well, now seemed like a good a time as any to share my new discovery.

"There _is_ another way!" I insisted, "it's so easy, she'll agree to it immediately! Love-"

"Calms spirit down?" she finished for me. "Already tried it. It worked for a while, but Lissa's spirit seems to be a hell of a lot more powerful than it is in the average person- eg. yourself- and even love can't hold it. I tried, Christian tried and without fully realising it you tried too. You showed her brotherly love. It just didn't work. She's going through with this stupid ritual and it's all your fault!"

"That's insane! I didn't tell her to I just brought it up- wait! Did you just call me 'average'?" Typical, self-centred me thinking of things like that in situations like these.

"Yes? And?" she replied hastily.

"Well, I get that in your eyes I'm not like 'Mr Super-Incredibly-Hot' or anything but I at least like to think I'm a little more than av-"

"Seriously Adrain?"

"No.. sorry I-" I lost track of what I was saying when I saw Rose's gaze shift away from me, staring behind me.

"Sydney" she greeted with as much of a smile as she could muster in her currently stressful position.

"Hello" my girlfriend replied sweetly, "what's going on in here? I heard shouting, is everything okay?"

"Not really" stated Rose as she shot me daggers with her eyes. Her anger was beginning to show through her friendly Façade. "Adrian told Lissa about that 'Power Surrender' crap you guys discovered and now she's going through with the ritual. Tonight." She got up from her seat and headed for the door, clearly still angry, but perhaps restraining herself from saying anything more hurtful. If that was the case, then it seemed that she had at least gained a sense of self control in my absence.

"11pm" she told me, "at the Royal Court. Be there."

I couldn't wait.

Incase you didn't already get the hint- that was sarcasm.

* * *

><p>Just as Rose had ordered, I arrived at Court 11pm sharp. Being the caring person that she is, Sydney had offered to come with me for moral support and although I had protested that it may be too dangerous she insisted that she would be helpful. After all- she did know what to do in the ritual better than any of the rest of us.<p>

When we arrived at Lissa's home, we were greeted by a room full of people- it soon became obvious who else Lissa had roped into helping her with this crazy scheme. The spirit user- that was obviously me, though I could have thought of several more people who would have been far better suited to the job, for example Sonya Karp- Lissa's ex-magic teacher. I didn't feel worthy of this, my spirit was almost as out of control as Lissa's- I could ruin the entire ritual.

Standing on the far side of the room, looking exceptionally nervous was none other than Christian Ozera. You could tell, just from his facial expression and the way he kept nervousley twiddling his fingers that he wasn't comfortable with this- well that made two of us- three of us if you counted none other than Mia Rinaldi sitting on a chair a few feet away from me, her gaze fixed on the ground. The fire user and the water user. I could only assume that the other two people in the room (aside from Rose and Dimitri) must have been the earth and air users. One was a woman, fairly short for a Moroi with jet black hair and pale skin, the other a tall man with hair almost as fair as Gareths.

"Adrian!" chirped Lissa excitedly as she ran over and flung her arms around me. In any other situation, this would've been perfectly normal- but that's what worried me. This wasn't normal. This wasn't _right_- and here was Lissa acting like I'd just popped round for a cup of tea! "I'm so glad your here!" she continued, "now we can begin." She turned and gestured towards the people I didn't know- "Oh and this is Lily and Paul" she pointed out, "Dimitri found them and they said they were willing to help out- isn't that great?"

I hated to ruin her excitement, but I had to let my brutal honesty shine through. "No, Liss" I said, my face more serious than I had ever shown in her presence, "it's not great. Hell- it's not even good! I told you this was supposed to be a last resort, not that you should use it the next day!"

She tried to defend herself. "Adrian, you don't know what it's like! You don't get how bad I feel. No one does! Yeah, you have spirit, but I don't see your's driving you to suicide, do you? I just want to be happy again, that's all. You just don't get it."

"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?" I shouted, my frustration escalating faster than one of those super speedy 0-to-whatever in 2 seconds rollercoasters... and I've been on one. That is some fast shit!

For a moment, the Queen looked dumbfounded by my sudden outburst, but then slowley raised a hand and placed it on my shoulder. Looking deep into my pale green eyes with her shimmering emerald ones, she said "because you don't." Her voice was so small, so meek it was as though she feared I would snap again. She was probably right, but not about her statement.

"I do Lissa" I insisted, "you don't know how much I know. It's the feeling of being out of control, like you don't know yourself or you have two personalities. I know, okay? I know it better than anyone you know." I spoke the truth in every single word.

There was a certain intensity throughout the room. I didn't need to look around to know that every eye in the room- even the magical ones of my little Alchemist- were turned towards me and Lissa, just waiting for the next word to be spoken. It was Lissa who spoke it.

"It doesn't matter. I'm going through with the ritual. Take your places everyone." Her eyes didn't leave mine the whole time she was speaking, but it was as though the life in them visibly died in that moment. It was as though I was no longer looking at my beloved friend, the closest thing I'd ever had to a sister. I was staring down a twisted stranger, somebody I had just met and already had a bad feeling about. It was as though I had just watched her heart freeze over. She looked so cold- not physically but mentally. I was staring right into the face of spirit. Was this how the world saw _me_?

I was snapped out of my trance when Sydney came and stood beside me- clearly uncomfortable in a room filled with vampires- and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Come on" she said, "we better get started. Queens orders."

I had a terrible feeling about this. I could tell from the shakey connection between our hands that Sydney felt it too.

* * *

><p>Okay peoples, that's it for now! Sorry it's short but I want to do a whole chapter dedicated just to the ritual. I don't say this enough, but I love each and every one of you guys reading this, it means so much that my hard work and effort can be appreciated by others, so thank you =D And keep reading and reviewing and favouriting and stuff :P<p>

xxx


	12. The Ritual

Don't be Scared Little Alchemist

My Gosh where does time go! I hate to admit to this but i feel like I practically abandoned this story and all of it's readers for a very long time =( I did have my reasons for this of course, but I still feel terrible about it. I'm so so sorry about the wait, but I also want to say thank you to everyone for still sticking with this story. Most days I would get e-mails coming through reminding me that someones favourited it or commented or is following it. That means so much.  
>Just one thing I would like to address- i recently got a review saying that Sydney is out of character and this isn't the first time this has happened. This is due to the fact that I began this story before the Bloodlines series came out so I knew very little about her then and had to sort of guess the reasons behind her actions. This story has nothing to do with Bloodlines or the events that occur within that book. Anyway- I'm rambling as always- on with the much awaited story!<p>

Chapter 12:

Everyone in the room prepared to take their places, nervous looks on every face except Lissa's which was just as empty as it had been before. She knew the consequence of what she was doing, she knew it could backfire by adding in Spirit into a ritual made for just the 4 original elements. She knew it could affect her... and she also knew it could affect me... but she didn't care. That hurt so badly it was though a part of my heart had been cut out. Before, Lissa would have been willing to do anything for me, but now here she was putting me in the front line of danger for her own benefit. It was the first time in my life I could actually label Lissa as selfish. I guess it just showed how much Spirit was able to corrupt the minds of those who weilded it.

Everyone waited patiently for Sydney to tell them what to do and where to go. I watched as she leafed through the pages of the book that contained the ritual, I could see the worry creasing up her beautiful face. I hated myself for not physically restraining her from coming tonight. If anything happened to her, I honestly didn't know how I'd go on.

"Okay" the little Alchemist announced, "it says here that you must stand as if you are the corners of a square- fire and water at the top facing each other, and air and earth at the bottom doing the same". The Moroi who posessed those elements organised themselves and did as they were told, but to me, watching them just reinforced the fact that I was not meant to be a part of this ritual. I wasn't written into it. Something was bound to go wrong.

"Your Majesty, if you would please stand in the middle" Sydney said, trying to keep her composure in this tense atmosphere. It was so quiet that the light tapping of Lissa's feet on the ground as she walked cut through me with every step. "And then" continued Sydney, "you need to face the Moroi who posesses your element, who in this case is Adrian". Sydney turned to me and I shot her my best, pleading 'don't make me do this' look, but to no avail. She merely sighed and pointed me towards where to stand- between Mia and Christian. The pair looked at me apolageticly as if they felt somewhat responsible, though I couldn't imagine why as it had been made quite clear that Lissa had gone through with this decision by herself. I guess they were just nice people.

"Okay" continued Sydney, assesing the layout. She explained how I was vital to the success of the ritua, but I was too caught up in my thoughts about the many ways this could potentialy go wrong. Of course, I wasn't usually a worrier, in fact before Rose I had never truely worried a day in my life. I was party boy Adrian Ivashkov, the art college drop out, the alcoholic, the ladies man. But over the last year that man had dissapeared and in his place stood a man who cared very much about everyone in his life. From his dodgy parents, to his noble yet hilarious guardians, his Alchemist girlfriend he wasn't technically supposed to be with, his crazy best friend standing in the square with cold eyes, and hell- even the woman who cheated on him and the man she cheated with.

They all meant the world to me and screwing this up as I had screwed up so many things in my life would mean I'd let them all down.

"The ritual isn't too complicated" I heard my girlfriend say as I swallowed my fear and tuned back in to reality. She set a bucket of water down in front of Mia and some rocks down in front of Paul, the earth user. "It's fairly simple" she insisted, "You just have to use your element to create an arch with the person opposite you- just meet them halfway. For example, Lily and Paul would create an arch that is half air and half earth. Usually, the Moroi surrendering their powers would walk under one arch at a time before stopping in front of the Moroi with the same element as them, but unfortunately, there is no room for Spirit in the ritual. Therefore, Adrian and the Queen must walk through the first arch together, the Queen must do the second by herself and then meet in the middle and then see what happens. At that point, the arches will seem as though they are going out of control, but in reality each element will be finding the best way to get to the Queen. If this happens, we have succeded. Everyone understand?"

There were faint nods from all involved and Lissa came and stood beside me. "Thank you Adrian" she said, "I couldn't do this without you." In no mood to accept her kind words after all she had done, I merely looked down and shook my head. Lissa didn't make another attempt at conversation and waited for the ritual to begin.

It began well, just inches in front of us, Mia and Christian had their arch up in seconds, both clearly concentrating with all their might. It wasn't long before Lily and Paul managed to do the same. Lissa and I walked under the first arch together as planned, feeling the magic seeping into us, the warmth of the fire giving me a fluttery feeling and the wetness of the water chillng me to the bone, somewhat simultaneously. I stood in the middle of the square and watched as Lissa walked under the second arch and made her way back to me.

We stood face to face, studying each other, waiting for something to happen. The atmosphere was tense and the whole room turned silent. Lissa's eyes narrowed as if warning me to never break eye contact, but even so I managed a quick glance over at Sydney who would lose her job and be in serious trouble with the Alchemists if this ever went public. I turned my attention to Eddie and Gareth, who were in charge of my saftey and would be fired if anything was to go wrong. I even glanced over at Rose and Dimitri, holding hands with solemn expressions worn on their faces. Whenever I'd seen them together before this, they had always been happy, clearly content with their lives and looking forward to their long and happy futures together. That was one of the things which pained me the most- they were protecting Lissa and Christian, the Queen and Lord. I knew, and they too knew that if this backfired, their punishment would be by far the worst. I honestly dreaded to think what it would mean for them, after all they had already been fugitives once in their lives. I wasn't about to destory what they had together.

As I turned back to Lissa and looked into her Spirit fueled eyes it was like I was staring into a destroyed soul. I did feel sorry for her, I really did... but I still couldn't help but wonder why exactly she couldn't find another way. I mean- I always had, always. The only reason she was finding it so difficult to cope now was because she had previously had the bond. Giving up powers she had yet to learn how to control wasn't worth all the job losses or potenial deaths that this ritual was able to cause.

And thats when it hit me- I had to stop this.

But- as my luck tends to go on most occasions, it didn't work out that well. The arches began to twist and turn, causing the odd scream or grunt of frustration to be uttered from the fire, air, earth and water users. It was happening and I didn't know how to stop it. I could see the magic in the air, weaving around the room, past all the bystanders and seeping into Lissa. She grinned as though feeling a weight being lifted off of her, but as I watched the magic pulsing into her, I noticed with a start that it was also pulsing into... me? Shit. Well that couldn't be right.

Suddenly, it was as though I was enveloped in a world of my own. Time itself seemed to stop and all I could feel was the magic inside me. I felt like I had all the power in the world and yet... I couldn't feel the hum of spirit. I guessed that this was what it felt like to be a normal Moroi who worked as one with their power. I envied them I really did. By choice I could very easily have stayed in that haze forever and ever... but I had to take the time to glance around me. Lissa was experiencing the same thing as me... but why did everyone around us look so worried? My eyes darted to the others in the circle and thats when I realised... they were all suffering. Mia had all but passed out and the other three were on their knees putting all their energy in. I locked glances with Christian. I saw his pain, it was as though he was pleading with me to make it stop. I couldn't deny him that, he was an old friend of mine, he would have done the same for me.

Although I was still mesmirised by the magic, I found one last ditch effort to end this- I pushed Lissa down. - pushing the Queen was a bad move and I really don't reccomend it, but I had to trust my instincts that she would forgive me, at least for the sake of Christian.

As soon as Lissa was down, everything stopped eerily quickly. I was the only one in the square still standing and everyone else in the room had their eyes fixed on me, completely awestruck. I felt as though I'd commited a crime, the people around me clearly didn't know what to make out of all of this... but then again neither did I really. Would the power surrender had worked without causing any long term damage to the others in the sqaure? At that moment, in the deadly silent room I began to speak my mind. I was actually going to be a man for once, I was going to stand up for myself.

"I couldn't take the risk" I began, watching some of the onlooking faces soften while others jaws dropped at the thought that I could actually do something non-selfish for once in my life. I honestly couldn't say I blamed them.  
>"I've spent the last eight years struggling with Spirit" I admitted, "and it's tough as hell I'm not going to lie. It's sent me up the wall on countless occasions, it's made me become an alcoholic and smoker. It's given me an excuse to give up on everything I've ever worked for... but it's also helped me in my life. When Rose was on the run, spirit gave me and my friends a way to contact her, to make sure she was okay. It gives me the courage to speak my mind... mostly because I can't help it when I'm on a particularly bad downwards spiral, but you get my point. It makes me feel confident, powerful even. It even helped me meet the love of my life." At this I got a few 'awws' from the crowd, and Sydney took this opportunity to walk over to me and take my hand in hers, undoubtably remembering when I had flirted with her in her dreams.<p>

"I love you" I whispered in her ear before kissing her on the forehead.

"I love you too" she whispered back, her beautiful golden eyes alight with pride, pride for me. In that split second, I was overwhelmed. Never before had I felt that feeling, the warmth and happiness of knowing that I had done something that others could be proud of me for, but I finally had it, and from the person that mattered the most. Looking around, I could see that the others in the room were listening intently, even Lissa was looking at me egarly awaiting my next words. I hoped this meant she wasn't too angry at me, but I didn't have time to dwell on that. I continued on.

"But anyway- I'm rambling a little" I said, "I'm sure you're not interested in my life story, though it is a bit of a rollercoaster. My point is- her Majesty, Queen Vasilisa, my close friend, my sister... she didn't need this stupid ritual. She's a strong woman, the youngest Queen in years and she's been through more in her life than it's right to repeat. And she has a lot of people who love her very much, people who could have been seriously harmed tonight, such as Christian here." I gestured towards Christian who looked particularly uncomfortable suddenly being in the spotlight, but I was sure he didn't mind.  
>"He suffered for her tonight" I continued, "and although I'm sure he would have fought to the death for her, I wasn't going to take that risk. I wasn't about to tear the two of them apart, nor was I going to risk the lives of anyone else here today- and quite frankly I wasn't risking my life either."<p>

It was at this moment that I could see a wave of guilt cross Lissa's features. I could tell she wasn't angry at me, but instead felt corrected, wrong. I could tell she was sorry, so I directed my heartfelt speach to her.

"Liss" I said softly, looking her in the eyes and offering her my hand to help her up. She accepted and soon we were face to face as we had been in the ritual. "I'm sorry I stopped all this. But do you see why I did?" She nodded at this and allowed me to continue. "You don't need this Lissa. You'll be okay. I'll help you."

"It's okay Adrian" she replied, "I feel better already." At this she wrapped me up into a hug and whispered "I'm sorry" in my ear at which I hugged her tighter to prove I accepted her apology and earned many 'awws' from the onlookers. However, through this miniature love fest, I couldn't help but linger on one thing... I felt better too. The hum of spirit was much less noticable, non-threatening. It wasn't gone, I could feel it still, but for the first time since I specialised in it, it felt like I was the one in control rather than the other way around. Finally, I felt like the weilder of a magical power, not a man possesed by a demon. It felt as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, finally allowing me to breathe for the first time in years. It couldn't be...

I abruptly let Lissa go and turned to Sydney, who was still standing right beside me. "Sydney" I began, "you don't think that the ritual kinda... worked do you? I mean.. not all the way but.. we both feel a little better now."

At this, Sydney merely shrugged, the first time since I'd known her that she wasn't positive about the answer to a question.

"Possibly" she replied, "who knows what could have happened, we didn't do the ritual according to the book so anything could have taken place. I wouldn't be too surprised if it had half worked and since you walked through an arch I can see why it may have worked on you too."

I turned back to Lissa and saw an excitement in her eyes that matched my own. At that moment, a mutual understanding passed between us, something her life had been devoid of for a long time- hope. Hope for things to get better, easier, happier. Hope for a brigher future. Hope for a new beginning which was quite frankly just what she needed right now. I too hoped- I hoped that I would be calmer, more able to stay sober. I hoped I would finally be able to treat Sydney like a princess like she deserved without having breakdowns and crazy bursts of random yelling and breaking into riddles and rhymes at inconvenient times.

I turned to Sydney, her eyes still glowing with pride and embraced her. She hugged me back and in her arms, without the threat of spirit overtaking, I felt really, truley at home.

* * *

><p>Tada! almost at the end now- one or two chapters left to go now depending on how it all pans out ;) remember to review and leave feedback because it always helps =D I love you all =3<p> 


	13. The Wedding

**Don't Be Scared Little Alchemist**

OKAY! Well here I am again, finally updating the story I constantly vow to update and then always forget. But you know what- this, my lovely readers, shall be the last chapter! I don't know how to feel... I'm sad but happy at the same time, but I know it will be amazing to be able to finally view this thing as a completed project. So... here we go I guess =D Also- remember: this wedding is 3 months in the future! Therefore, if Sydeny and Adrian seem more... um intimate... there's a reason- Sydney's way more comfortable by that point.

**Chapter 13:**

I stared down the aisle of the church from my seat on the middle row of the left hand side, beaming with pride for a million different reasons. The place had been decked out beautifully, Sonya Karp- who had taken the liberty of putting the entire wedding together by her own free will- had really gone to town. All the way up the magnificent stone pillars, roses climbed from floor to ceiling, branches of stunning red and white flowers weaving and intertwining with each other. The high ceiling was also covered in flowers (how they got up there is a mystery to me!) and the blood-red carpet leading up the aisle had been scattered with delicate white petals. At the end of it was a large wooden arch- decorated similarly to the pillars- under which stood a beaming yet considerably more nervous than usual Dimitri Belikov. He cast a quick glance in my direction, noticing I had been looking at him, and smiled while giving me a polite nod. All of the animosity between us had vanished over the course of the last few months and he had become a man whom I greatly liked and respected. I was happy for him- even though he was marrying the girl that I had once dedicated my every thought to, all of that had been swept under the rug. Looking behind him, I saw Christian Ozera- clearly the best man- amoung two paige boys who I didn't recognise. All of them waited nervously in anticipation for the Bride to walk down the aisle.

Music began to play and everyone in the pews- myself incuded- rose from our seats to greet the bridal party. The great wooden doors swung open towards us, first revealing a beaming red-haired Janine Hathaway in a relatively long black dress. This was the first time I had ever seen the woman out of Guardian uniform and for the first time, I could truly see how much she resembled her daughter. Behind her were two tall, thin girls wearing matching strapless red dresses made of a floaty material and that came down to just above the knee. Princess Jill Mastrano-Dragomir was the first through the door, her usually unruley brown curls tamed so that they fell neatly over her shoulders and down her back, giving her a look of beauty and elegence that was unusual for her, but sutied her none the less. Next was Lissa, looking as graceful, elagent and queenlike as ever. She even wore her official royal tiara. As she walked, she glanced over at me, a full, satisfied smile spreading across her face and her eyes gleaming with a happiness that I had long since seen. She and I had talked a lot since the power surrender incident and had both decided that the strength of our powers had been lessened for the better. We could still walk dreams, we could still see auras and use compulsion and could still heal minor things such as cuts and bruises, but we suspected that our days of raising the dead were most likely over. It was only a small price to pay for our minds being free from spirit madness. I looked quickly to her wrists and ankles where the wounds were now merely faint scars. They would last a lifetime, but I could see that they didn't matter to her. She- like I - was content.

Next through the door was Rose accompanied by her father Abe Mazur who- as usual- wore completely clashing clothes: a bright orange shirt and a turquoise tie. Somehow it worked for him. Rose, however, was dressed beautifully in a long white dress, her dark hair falling around her with a delicate beauty. A year ago, I would have looked upon her with intense jelousy, dying to be the one marrying her. I may have even had a spirit related breakdown. But I didn't. All my feelings of love and lust for her had entirely vanished and I had begun to see her like a younger sister, similarly to how I saw Lissa. As she entered, I couldn't help but sneak a glance at Dimitri who looked about ready to cry, completely and utterly enraptured by her beauty. A smile grew on my face which reached from ear to ear. Call me a hopeless romantic- I sure was becoming one- but it was one of the most beautiful sights I had ever seen. Maybe it was because I was happy for them, maybe because I was proud I'd moved on, or even perhaps because I had hope that someday soon I would be able to have a moment equally as beautiful with the one I loved.

Speaking of the beautiful little Alchemist, she was next- and last- through the door, holding the train of Rose's dress and wearing a matching dress to Jill and Lissa's. Her golden hair was up in a bun, a red rose tied into it, complimenting her skin tone and making her etherial beauty shine even brighter than it usually did. Sydney was perfection, the most beautiful person in the bridal party, the most beautiful person at the whole wedding. She caught my eye and beamed, her smile lighting up her face. She and I had been very happy together over the past few months and she had all but completely moved into my house. She got on well with Eddie and Gareth, they approved of our relationship no matter how unconventional it may have been. As for the Alchemists, those who worked closest with Sydney and were in charge of her placements knew of our love. Though they certainly weren't pleased, they knew how valuble Sydney's skills were and with a little persuasion (*cough*compulsion*cough*cough*) from me, they had agreed to allow the relationship and keep it a secret from the rest of the Alchemist world. Everything had worked out. We were happy, we were sorted. My life was finally where I wanted it to be.

I watched the wedding happily, beyond pleased for the bride and groom. However, tearing my eyes away from my beautiful girlfriend was near impossible. The spectators laughed, cried and sung where necessary (Abe cried the most by a landslide despite his tough mobster exterior- I made a mental note to never let him live it down) and I couldn't help but chuckle when Dimitri's sister Karolina brought her son- Dimitri's nephew- down the aisle to give the rings and he fell over, sending them flying. All was well though, and the happy couple said their vows and 'I do's'. I looked upon them and felt no jelousy, no hatred, no anger and most importantly, no spirit induced madness. I was finally, completely and utterly free.

When the couple came apart from their first kiss as husband and wife, they departed the church, gradually followed out by everyone else. Not being one for bothering with getting swallowed up by crowds, I waited until last, exiting with the bridesmaids and paige boys- also giving me a chance to tell Sydney how incredibly stunning she looked and walk out of the church with her hand in mine.

It was sunset outside, just warm enough for the Dhampirs and humans to be comfortable and just cold enough to not drain us Moroi too much. Once all the wedding pictures were over and done with, Rose did the ultimate cliche and threw her boquet over her shoulder and into the crowd. I was willing to bet a million dollars that it would either fly over all of our heads or knock someone out cold due to the bride's immense strength, but neither of the above occured. Instead, it was caught one-handedly by the girl standing beside me as I held her other hand in mine, her beautiful little face lighting up in pride as she displayed her catch to the rest of the crowd while they cheered.

"I guess you have a ring to buy me" she told me jokingly between giggles.

"I sure do" I replied, my tone more serious than hers, before placing a deliciously sweet kiss upon her lips. One day I would buy her that ring, I thought to myself. My time with her had proved it. I was completely and utterly, undeniably and powerfully in love with her. She completed me, she was the missing piece to my life. My soul mate if you believe in that stuff. This was it for me, I had already decided on it the moment I confessed my love to her.

I was drawn out of my thoughts by a newly named Rosemarie Belikov flinging her arms around me and rambling about how glad she was that I could come, while Dimitri chatted away politely to Sydney.

"Hey, no worries" I replied to my former love with a smile, "it was worth it. I'm so happy for you"

"You mean it?" she asked me, her face lighting up.

"Sure do- you and Belikov are good together, I see that now" I admitted. "And besides" I continued, humour creeping into my voice, "my love lifes fantastic at the moment- and would you believe it's not even because of the sex? Though it's damn good trust me."

She chuckled "WAY too much information dude!". I couldn't help but laugh along with her, so happy that we were finally getting along like friends, just as we should have been all along. "In all seriousness" Rose added, placing an arm on my shoulder "Sydney's a great girl. She's as smart as they come and clearly beautiful. She's the type of girl who will never put herself first, she'll do anything for the benefit of others. She's done things for me that have changed me- she's saved mine and Dimitri's lives and now I can see she's saving yours. It's up to you to remind her that she actually needs to be selfish once in a while!" I laughed a little at this, but was beyond happy that Rose saw my relationship in a good light. I was pleased that me moving on had made her so happy.

"I'll try" I promised with a chuckle, "and Rose- congratulations. I couldn't be more proud of you right now."

And it couldn't have been more true. -  
>When Sydney, Gareth, Eddie and I got home from the wedding, the dhampirs decided to retire for the night, insisting that they were exhaused from being on guard all day long in such an exposed environment. In other words- they didn't want to stick around and see yet another gloriously intimate Adrian and Sydney love fest so they decided to go hide away and play 'Call of Duty' on low volume so we both thought they were sleeping. It had happened more than once of you hadn't already gathered that. Nevertheless- I couldn't help but adore any alone time I got with my perfect girl.<p>

As soon as the guardians were out of sight, I scooped Sydney up into my arms, relishing in the sound of her giggling as I did so.

"Adrian put me down" she laughed, trying frantically to pull down her flippy dress to stay modest in case Eddie or Gareth came back in. I for one, would have rather it stayed up but beggers can't be choosers.

"Hmmm" I said, falsely pondering whether or not to let her down, "nope I don't think I will". With that, I spun her around in circles, chuckling as she tried to free herself... then she reached up and tickled my neck. Ah. My one weakness. Suddenly, I stopped spinning and let her down, itching my neck where the tickling had taken place. Sydney plonked herself down on the sofa, looking up at me with a smug smile on her face.

"We agreed that you would never do that" I said, feigning seriousness...though idea's we're coming to my mind- sexy ideas. I looked her up and down and bit my lip, approaching her slowley. Why did she have to be so damn beautiful? She looked up at me in anticipation as I straddled her sitting form, sliding one hand up the side of her leg, under her dress, and tangling the other in her hair. She let out a sharp, excited breath. "Naughty girl" I finally finished, leaning in to kiss her on the neck. I kissed hard, sensually, sucking on her skin just a little, trying my best to draw a moan out of her.

"Mmmm..."

There we go.

I moved my lips from her neck to her ear, a grin widning on my face, deeply enjoying this feeling of dominance. "I love you" I whispered to her, "I really do. You saved me Sydney... I can never thank you enough."

"I can think of a good way to start..." came the whispered reply as I felt a hand trail down my torso and a finger tuck gently under the hem of my trousers, tugging me towards her. I moved my head so my eyes gazed into hers. I could tell exactly what she was thinking- she wanted me badly. And damn did I want her too. Desperately, I crashed my lips onto hers, butterflies raging in my stomach and fireworks exploding in my head. I needed this, I needed her, just as I so often did, but this time even more so. Seeing the wedding today, coming to the realisation that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Sydney Sage... well that was a lot of love to express. And boy did I express it. Frantically, I pressed myself closer and closer to her, desperate to make any space between us melt away, for us to become one being. Being this close to her was a feeling that gave me power, it made my heart want to explode out of my chest. I ran my hands up her body, reaching the top of her dress and tugging it off, revealing a black strapless bra and lace panties. Sexy. As. Hell. I couldn't help but stare in awe, regardless of how many times I'd now seen her this way, the novelty never seemed to wear off. She was just far too beautiful, a creature of true perfection and brilliance. Sydney took my brief moment of weakness to take control of me, ripping my dress-shirt from my body (quite literally... it soon had to be binned. RIP favourite shirt), the buttons flying everywhere as she did. She ran her hands along the lines of my toned chest her eyes taking in every detail. The way Sydney and I admired each others bodies as though we'd never seen them before each time we got undressed, just showed how truely attracted to each other we were. I could safely say I had never felt like this before in my life, nor would I ever again if she were to leave me.

"You're beautiful" she commented, a breathy tone of wonder in her voice, "I can't even describe it. You're like a god, a perfectly sculpted piece of artwork. How did I get you?".

I smiled, placing a kiss on her forehead. "You lived" I replied simply.

She wasted no more time. Her lips colliding with mine, she instantly began undoing my zipper, allowing my to shake off my trousers. Her lips roamed, kissing all down my neck, up around my throat and all down my body. I just wanted to melt under the heat of her kisses, each one was like a tiny little electric shock urging me further and further towards throwing her down and giving her everything I had. And that was totally about to happen.

It wasn't long until we were completely naked and I swivelled her around so that we were sitting across the sofa long ways. Roughly- though not too roughly of course- I pushed her down so that I was lead on top of her. She smiled up at me, as if encouraging me to go all the way. I just had one puzzling thing to ask.

"Sydney" I said simply, a slight moan escaping my lips as I realised where her hand was currently going. "How is it... that you... an al...chemist... have-mmmm..." I tried to get out between moans. Of course- I was going to ask her how she could love a vampire like me despite her beliefs, but my body was screaming at me that it just didn't matter. I could guess it was just because she loved me. Love does crazy things sometimes.

And so it happened, as it always did though with noticably more passion- our hips moved together, our lips collided and our tongues danced. Nails dug into skin, hands became entangled in hair, hearts beat faster and faster. Sydney was so warm, so sweet, so delecate yet so sexy. I kissed her forcefully, pushing her back into the sofa as far as I could. I kissed down her neck, all down her body, caressing her as I did. I wished with all my heart that the moment could last forever and ever... but it couldn't.

After what felt like an eternity but was in fact 20 minutes (not my personal best I swear...) I rolled off of her and reached for my underwear passing Sydney hers too, at least wanting to be semi-modest is the guardians were to walk in... although judging from the commotion we had just been making, I guessed that they wouldn't be back here any time soon. I grabbed the throw from over the back of the couch and allowed Sydney to cuddle up into my side before wrapping it around us. She sighed and rested her head on my shoulder. Bliss.

I stroked her hair, doing my best not to catch my fingers on any of the tangles I'd previously made. Even in such a dishevelled state, she was still an angel, and she was all mine. I thought back to earlier, what I had been contemplating at the church.

"Hey Sydney" I said, lightly pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

"Mmmhm" she mumbled in return, turning to look up at me.

"I was thinking today. Rose and Dimitri made me think about... about how happy I would be if I could have a wedding like that someday".

"Yeah, it was pretty" she replied nonchalantly, not quite getting the hint that I had been imagining us in their position.

"It was lovely. I could just picture me standing there like Dimitri was, getting all nervous. And you.. you'd look so beautiful in white-"

"Me?" she responded, "you can see yourself marrying me?" Her deep golden eyes lit up like glittering fire, full of hope and wonder.

"Sydney" I replied, taking her face gently in my hands and staring straight into those eyes. "I can see the rest of my life with you. I'm completely, inescapably in love with you. Marrying you would just be a bonus."

She stared at me for a while longer, her face quiverring slightly as if holding back tears. "Adrian..." she responded, breathtaken. "I love you so much".

I couldn't wait anymore, I had to kiss her. A soft kiss this time, very contrasting to earlier. But soft kisses were my favourite. They were filled with beautiful emotion. They made me believe that she really, truely felt a love for me as deep as I felt for her. She was simply perfect.

She was my everything. She was the love of my life. She was my little Alchemist.

And I wanted her forever.

TADA MY LOVELIES!

We have come to an end. Did you like it? Did you HATE it? Have any feedback at all? REVIEW ;)

See you all next time xoxoxoxo

**ATTENTION! I am currently very inactive on this (heh... as if you didn't notice), but I do currently have both a Sydrian and Klaroline story in the works... they're just taking a little time!**

**FOR NOW it would be GREAT if you would head over to my account where I am posting far more. At the moment, I have an ancient story called 'Fangs' which is an unfinished and hilariously bad read if you're looking for a laugh. I also have these:**

**The Curse: this one is pretty dark and my only M rated story I've ever done so you can imagine the sort of things I'm experimenting with.. hehe ;) Basically there's a lot of blood and gore and a girl falls for a killer. It's not done but man when it is... it's gonna be something special so GO FOLLOW IT!**

**AND MORE IMPORTANTLY!**** Sparks: I'm finally starting to write out in full my first ever original YA series. I've had it planned out every step of the way for years and have made alterations here and there so that it makes more sense and flows better. I've also made tweaks to chuck in some better ideas. It's gonna be a trilogy eventually with Sparks being the first book followed by Poison and Fire. Each one will probably change POV and stuff so it'll keep it fresh. It's about witches but also mental disorders and drugs and stuff... so it's gonna be pretty badass.**

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